On the Upper East Side when the going gets tough, the tough bring in the baddest bitch they’ve ever met.  Case in point: Georgina Sparks.  Sometimes when things get so awful and you need help it’s always best to turn to someone who, although crazy, can help you out of a sticky situation.  Let’s hope Georgina can fix this big old mess that has been made…

Serena was all gaga into Gabriel. She spent a lot of time with him and was really enjoying his company. Even Lily and Rufus liked the man from North Carolina. It seemed as though Serena had finally found her Prince Charming in the form of a rich Southerner. That’s beautiful, y’all. Unfortunately, Blair was not feeling him. She thought there was something up with Gabriel and she was determined to figure out what it was. After an incredibly short stakeout, Blair caught the redneck red handed. He was making out with Poppy Lifton! Rude. When Serena confronted Gabriel about what Blair witnessed he told her that he and Poppy were not together. He was in an unfortunate sitch. Poppy had connected him with all his investors (fyi he had this huge business plan to bring WiFi to developing African nations) and was going to pull them when she found out Gabriel was now dating Serena. So Gabriel had to lie to Poppy in order to save his business venture. He fibbed to her and said he and Serena were over. Serena was bummed. However, Gabriel promised Serena he and Poppy’s relationship was not physical and once the contracts were made in a week they’d be dunzo. Forever. Gabriel only had eyes for one girl: Serena. Aww-ish. Poor Serena. Sharing a guy AGAIN? What is up with that?

Of course, Blair was still not convinced Gabriel was truthful. Especially after hearing about how he supposedly had first met Serena at Butter the night before the SAT’s (you know, the night she was drugged by Georgina). It would have been impossible for Gabriel to have met Serena since Blair had used all the bartenders from Butter for her Nelly Yuki SAT sabotage party (and besides, meeting a girl when she’s roofied is so not cute). This North Caroliner was more like a North Caro-liar. Blair and Chuck devised a scheme, much to Nate’s dismay. Nate was pissed off at all the time Blair and Chuck were spending together. Blair was his girlfriend. Not Chuck’s. Nate was so fixed on keeping the two apart he even bought a condo in Murray Hill (who the hell is he? A recent Indiana or Syracuse college grad?). With Nate at Columbia next year and Blair at NYU, this would keep them together and Chuck out of the picture. But anyway. No matter how much Nate wanted them apart, Blair and Chuck always found a way to somehow be together (not like together together, but like scheming together natch). So yeah, Blair and Chuck came up with a plot. They decided to invite Poppy to Lily’s Coop meeting/party. When Poppy arrived and saw Gabriel and Serena together she was beyond livid. Gabriel was her boyfriend and Serena was a boyfriend stealer. Gabriel could forget all his contacts. Poppy was pulling them and Gabriel was going to have to go back to the south and work at daddy’s company. Rough.

With Gabriel seeing his entire business venture crumble, Serena couldn’t not help him out. Here they were in one of the most expensive buildings in the city, surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country, certainly people would want to invest. And sure enough, with Gabriel’s charming personality people started lining up to give him money to help African children update their Facebook profiles and send tips to yours truly.

Meanwhile, Vanessa was acting weird around Dan. Avoiding him and only talking to his dad. But Vanessa wanted to tell Dan the truth about why she was being shady. So she decided to play “I never.” And that’s when she admitted that she slept with Chuck Bass. Twice. Dan was a little shocked. Out of all the people in the entire world to sleep with? Chuck freaking Bass? Ugh! After that the game just turned into a drunken mess with Vanessa spilling huge beans. Rufus had recently told her there had been no bites on the Gallery. No one wanted to buy it. This meant Dan would not be able to afford Yale and thus not be able to attend. Sucks!

But have no fear! Rufus Humphrey doesn’t give up so easily. He decided to invest some money with Gabriel. Hopefully this would lead to ca-ching and Dan would soon be heading to New Haven. Although this was not the only thing Rufus was dealing with. He was debating about whether or not to ask Lily to marry him (!!). Rufus couldn’t decide so his kids helped him out. They bought a ring Rufus was seen eying at an antiques store. I guess, this was them giving their OK to Rufus proposing. Looked like the Humphreys were gonna do pretty well for themselves.

Still determined to get to the bottom of what was up with Gabriel, Chuck and Blair decided to go to the one person who would know the truth of what happened the night Gabriel supposedly first met Serena. The one person was more demented than Poppy and Gabriel: Georgina Sparks. Chuck and Blair traveled upstate to where Georgina had been living. It was a church camp. You heard that right. Georgina Sparks was now only into Jesus. She had been praying for God’s forgiveness for all the horrible things she had done. Looked like Georgina was hoping to end up in heaven and not that other place. But before Blair could even talk to Georgina she split. To go be with her actual boyfriend, Nate. This left Chuck with Georgina - aw you know about the history between those two . When Chuck asked about that night at Butter Georgina told him it was impossible. She and a semi-conscious Serena ended up going back to her hotel early and watching The Hills. They never went to Butter. Thus there was definitely no meeting of Gabriel that night. AHA! He was a lying, cheating, no good fake! Then Georgina made a shocking statement: she had the day off. She should come into the city for a visit. Uh freaking oh!

Poor Serena. She really should have listened to Blair and Chuck. Because they were right in their suspicion with Gabriel. Turned out, he really was a phony. Gabriel was still seeing Poppy (it was like the two were the demonic duo). Gabriel and Poppy learned everyone was on to them. So what did they do? Gabriel decided to flee. With all the money people had given him to invest (including a certain Mr. Humphrey). There was no investment this was just a ploy to make $$. ACK!

OMG! What the hell is everyone gonna do? Serena’s basically brought a criminal into our world. Good job, S. I just hope they can get Gabriel back before he ruins some serious lives. Also, I know Georgina is supposedly good and all now but just the sight of her still brings shivers down my spine. The evil spirit may have gone to Jesus camp but I don’t think she could fully be exorcised. The devil in her must eventually come out. I’ll be praying for a miracle…xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 52 Comments »

Spotted: S and her new boy having an incredibly romantic dinner at Da Filippo.  There was candlelight and hand holding.  Jealous!  Looks like we have a new golden couple.  Sorry B and N.  B was seen shopping at Barney’s w/ Dorota in tow.  So cute.  While N was outside a building in Murray Hill.  No idea what he was doing there.  The Upper East Side is a bit north, N.  D going to the bank to deposit his cater waiter money.  Cute or pathetic?  A little bit of both, I think.  J gabbing to V at the Gallery about whatever girls from Brooklyn gab about.  And last but not least,  C’s limo stopping outside Gray’s Papaya late at night.  His driver went in and came out with only one hot dog.  Guess C was alone…

xo xo Gossip Girl | 20 Comments »

Looks like Serena and Gabriel are officially on.  Let me fill you in on some important deets about S’ new man: Gabriel Edwards is from a far off foreign land called North Carolina.  His family made their money (and we’re talking millions, possibly billions) from growing and selling tobacco.  So not only is Gabriel totally hot but he’s also totally rich.  Way to go, S.  Serena and her southern gentleman have been spotted arm in arm all over town.  After a long dating sting that included Dan Humphrey, Aaron Rose and then Dan Humphrey again, it’s a breath of fresh air to finally see someone on the same level with Serena.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 70 Comments »

Blair had gone from high school senior to NYC socialite extraordinaire in what seemed like only a matter of weeks. Guess that’s what dating Nate Archibald will do to you. Blair and Nate were all over town attending charity galas, fundraisers and anything else the cream of the crop were at. Blair was so excited to have this in her life. After the whole Yale thing, it seemed like she had actually found her calling: fulltime socialite. Unfortunately, her mother was not as thrilled. Waldorf women were not socialites! But Blair didn’t care. She was on the track to being on the Junior Committee for the Whitney. Nate’s cousin, Trip, was marrying a girl who was a member. It was only a matter of time before Blair would be invited too. As luck would happen, her invitation seemed even closer than she could imagine. William, Nate’s grandfather, approached Blair while at the wedding rehearsal. He told her he had just found out about Nate getting into Columbia (turned out N applied there to see if he could actually get into a school w/o his grandfather’s name and $$). However, this did not sit well with William. While Columbia was good and all, it wasn’t Yale. All van der Bilts went to New Haven. But Nate didn’t care. He got into Columbia on his own merit. Grandfather made a deal with Blair. If she could persuade Nate to attend Yale then he would help her get on the Junior Committee. Blair was tempted and then finally agreed. But only if she was made a bridesmaid in Trip and Maureen’s wedding. Oh, Blair. That girl sure knows how to bargain.

Blair was on a mission: to get Nate to go to Yale and to be the best bridesmaid this city had ever seen. Turned out being a bridesmaid was definitely easier than convincing Nate. He was deadest on Columbia. Especially after Trip filled him in on some startling news about their dear old grandfather. As it would happen, William van der Bilt was the one who turned the Captain into the feds. If it weren’t for William the Captain might not be in jail. Talk about bad blood. Nate was mad and he was ready to get even. So when it was time to give his best man speech at the wedding he spoke the truth. In front of all his family members, NYC elite and who knows who else, Nate revealed what he had learned about his grandfather. Everyone was shocked. But no one was more shocked than Blair. Looked like her dream of being the next Brooke Astor was shattering right in front of her eyes.

Nate wanted to leave the wedding ASAP but William stopped him. He told his grandson that he had begged the Captain to stop what he was doing. William only turned him in as a last resort. It was in order to help the family. Nate wished he could just be told the truth sometimes. William recognized that. But then he did something way shocking: William sold Blair out. What was Nate gonna think about his GF making a deal with the devil, I mean, grandfather? Nate could not believe this. Why was there no one in his life he could trust? Blair tried to explain it to him but he didn’t care. He thought Blair had changed. I guess she hadn’t. Was our golden couple already ending their short run? How pathetic is that?

Meanwhile, Serena had returned from Spain. And well let’s just say she was a bit different. Serena had left a single girl but came back, omg, married!? Turned out Poppy Lifton left the trip early on after she and Gabriel broke up. Therefore Serena was with him alone for the rest of their time there. And what would you know? They ended up falling for each other. After one too many glasses of rioja Serena and Gabriel wound up at a church and tied the knot. I know, crazy. Even for Serena van der Woodsen. The new Mrs. was confused. How could this have happened? So she sought help in Blair’s lawyer stepfather, Cyrus. It was time for a divorce. Like mother like daughter…

Dan was dealing with a problem of his own. He knew his father couldn’t afford to send him to Yale. So he decided to get a job. As a cater waiter lol. And his first job was working a Passover Seder at none other than the Waldorf-Rose apartment. What are the chances? Good thing for him Blair was not attending. Sigh of relief. However, Serena did show up. She came to talk to Cyrus about the you know what and Lily ended up coming too bringing Rufus along with her. Geez. Dan could not catch a break. His dad didn’t want him to get a job so Dan couldn’t tell him about his new gig. This meant Dan had to act like he was an invited guest (even though he was wearing a cater waiter outfit - sorry to say that uniform was actually cuter than his usual garb). You’d think Dan trying to do his job and pretending to be a guest all at the same time would be the craziest thing to happen at this Passover Seder. But of course that was not the case! Guess who showed up? Gabriel! Serena’s husband! Oy vey!

Gabriel needed to see Serena but she wasn’t interested. And in typical Serena fashion instead of just being upfront with Gabriel, she told him Dan was her beloved boyfriend. He was her first and only love. According to Serena, she and Dan were destined to be together. Sorry, Gabriel. But he didn’t seem to believe that news so fast. With Cyrus inviting Gabriel to ask the Four Questions and eat charoset with the gang, it looked like this Seder was the place to be. Now let me try to make this clear (because it’s just so confusing): Dan was a cater waiter pretending to be an invited guest as well as Serena’s boyfriend since Serena was trying to avoid her new husband, Gabriel who was puzzled since he thought Serena and Dan were over. All the while, Rufus and Lily were shocked that Dan and Serena were back together and Eleanor was pissed her hired help was sitting and not working. Phew. But then the truth started coming out (as it always does). The herbs weren’t the only things bitter at this Seder.

Lily was upset that Serena had run away to Spain and then caused a scene at the dinner. She did not like the way Serena was acting. Seemed like she was scarily close to reverting back to Old Serena. But Serena pleaded and said she couldn’t just sit there and do nothing her whole life. There had to be a balance. Lily seemed to understand. And then she sprung the big news of S: she got into Brown! Serena was ecstatic. Watch out, Providence. Serena van der Woodsen’s coming to town.

Serena found Gabriel outside the apartment. She apologized for everything that happened that night. Serena was scared to tell him the truth. I mean marriage was a big thing. It was frightening to think about the mistake she made. And that’s when Gabriel stopped her. Marriage? Huh? They weren’t married. They were drunk. The priest they woke up probably wasn’t even a priest. Nothing was official. Serena was way relieved. She’s much too young to have a failed marriage under her belt. And then Serena and Gabriel had a moment. He was pretty hot and the two seemed to have something. Maybe them getting together in Spain wasn’t a fluke? Maybe it was the real deal? So they kissed. Looked like even though Serena and Gabriel weren’t married they could possibly be, I don’t know, more than just friends?

All the while, Jenny Humphrey went on a date. I mean if you call eating hamburger sliders and playing Monopoly at your dad’s girlfriend’s apartment a date, then yes she was on a date. With Wes, her lab partner. However, it was crashed by Chuck Bass. And standard Chuck Bass manner he said inappropriate things. Jenny was pissed that he was trying to ruin her night. So she let him have it. Jenny told Chuck that just because he was bored with his own life didn’t mean he had to make everyone else miserable. She also reminded him of what happened at the Kiss on the Lips party (ah remember the roof and Dan and Serena saving day?? Feels like so long ago!!). Jenny said that if she ever told her dad about it you’d know that he would make Lily choose between the Humphreys and Chuck. She was pretty certain she knew who’d Lily choose. Ouch. This landed on Chuck and he was surprisingly taken aback. And in extremely atypical Chuck Bass form, he apologized for what happened that night in 2007. !!!!! Wow. Only like almost two years later. But really Chuck Bass apologizing?? This was something new…

Back to the Blair of it all. She was distraught. Blair could not believe this was her luck. How could she mess it up with Nate so quickly? Nothing would make her feel better. Though, she did receive some promising news: Cyrus had a friend who worked at NYU. The friend owed Cyrus. Maybe he could call in a favor and get Blair a meeting there? While hanging in Washington Square Park and eating tempeh was not her idea of a good time, Blair realized it was better than nothing and decided to take Cyrus up on his offer.

Fortunately for Blair, it seemed like Nate hadn’t totally given up on her. In order to understand what happened between them, he went to the most unlikely of person for help: Chuck. Nate told him everything. And shockingly Chuck gave him honest advice. Blair was changing. She could have had Chuck but she chose Nate. Blair just needed someone to believe in her. And thus Nate decided he would believe in her. He went to see her and the two made up. Thank effing goodness! Was not ready to say goodbye to this couple just yet.

After Serena and Gabriel parted, she called him and left him a message. Serena told him she was happy he came back for her. Was she falling for the southern gentleman? From the looks of it, yes. But not so fast, S. Guess who Gabriel was with when Serena called him? Why, Poppy Lifton. She asked him to tell her everything. But hadn’t they broken up? Huuuuuuh? Whaaaaaat? I’m confused.

Gosh. Blair and Nate drama so soon in their new relationship? They pull you in and then tease you of a break up. B&N, stay together for just a little bit longer puh-lease? K thanks. But let’s be honest. The biggest thing that’s happening now is the stuff with S. So Gabriel and Poppy aren’t broken up? Or are they? Whatever it is, it’s CRAZY. They seem to have a few tricks up their sleeves. And I cannot wait to see what they pull out. Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 75 Comments »

Spotted: B & N at the Broadway premiere of Next to Normal.  They were overheard telling a reporter they “absolutely loved the show.  Everyone gave incredible performances!  It’s a must see!” J and her lab partner eating falafel at The Hummus Place.  A date?  Or just homework?  D being boring once again and doing work at the Gallery.  Now this is just getting sad.  V renting Grey Gardens at Reel Life Video.  She was preparing for the HBO movie, obviously.  C having brunch with Lily and E at Café Pierre.  A to the dorable.  S suddenly jaunting off to Spain without telling her mom makes C look like the good child.  What is wrong with that?!  And speaking of S, she was seen at the beach in Barceloneta.  She was reading Naturally Thin by her favorite Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel.  Ah, what a life.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 35 Comments »