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![]() New ArrivalJune 23rd, 2010
June 23rd, 2010
xo xo Gossip Girl | 2 Comments » OMFG x a Billion!May 18th, 2010
OH.MY.GOD. Please excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. I am utterly speechless. Deep breaths, Gossip Girl, deep breaths. Let me try to collect my thoughts and explain all that went down. Are you ready? Chuck had made Blair an ultimatum: meet him on the top of the Empire State Building by 7pm or he’ll close his heart to her forever. Whoa. However, Blair made it perfectly clear to all those around her that she was 100% not going. Sadness. Though it seemed like forces greater than we know were trying to persuade her otherwise. Blair just couldn’t escape the famous building! Everywhere she turned she either saw it or heard someone talking about it. What the ef? But Blair was determined not to give in to temptation. So she planned a day date with Cameron and asked an extremely pregnant Dorota to chaperone and make absolutely sure there was no way she’d find herself anywhere near 34th Street. Or so she hoped… With everything around her falling apart, Jenny was in a bad place. A really bad place. But that didn’t mean she was ready to make amends. No, Jenny wanted to make things even worse. So when she found Dan in bed with Serena, sleeping, J snapped a photo. And then sent it to me. Okay, okay. I know. By posting that photo I knew I’d ruin a lot of people’s relationships. But seriously. How could I not post it? It was way too good to keep hidden in my inbox. And please remember don’t shoot the messenger When Blair saw the pic of S and D, she decided she wasn’t going to let Jenny Humphrey get off so easily. So she headed to Brooklyn. In a smack down for the ages, Blair gave it to Jenny. All the social climbing crap J had done in the past was one thing. But you don’t mess with the mythic Nate and Serena! They love each other, like Dan and Vanessa, and Chuck and Blair. Too bad nobody loves poor J. ROUGH! Blair suggested that maybe her own dad didn’t even love her after the whole Will incident. OUCH x a billion! While in Brooklyn, Blair caught a glimpse of the Empire State Building. Jeez! She just could not escape that thing. And then Blair realized…It was a sign (even though she didn’t believe in signs). Blair had to get to the top of that building at once and be with Chuck! Although, guess whose water just happened to break at that very moment? Why, Dorota. Way to go into labor at the worst moment ever, Dorota. Looked like Blair was going to have to put reuniting with Chuck on hold. Fingers crossed Chuck would wait. But sadly, he didn’t. Once the clock struck 7:01, Chuck headed back to the Empire Hotel. Guess his heart was officially closed to Blair? Say it ain’t so. But it seemed like something else was opening up. His pants! Because Jenny, who’d just learned she was being sent to live with her mom in Hudson (Goodbye, Upper East Side. Hello, Upstate!!!) came looking for Nate and found Chuck instead. And Chuck and Jenny, at their absolute lowest, were not exactly a good combo. After way too many drinks these two found comfort in one another AKA they totally had sex. OMFG! Jenny lost her virginity to Chuck?! C boned J? That’s so effing huge. AHHHHHH! And the worst part about it…? Blair! She’d rushed out of the hospital (with Dorota’s blessing!) and gone to meet Chuck at the top of The Empire State Building. But she was too late. Trés sad! So Blair went to the hotel to find Chuck. Not knowing Jenny was still lying in bed in the other room, Blair confessed that she wasn’t planning on showing up at the ESB. But she followed her heart and listened to it. Blair couldn’t stop loving Chuck. She wanted to be with him. Chuck was the happiest I’ve ever seen him. And then Blair and Chuck kissed and it was soooo romantic. Too bad J was in the other room. Major awks. But luckily Jenny snuck out before being detected by Blair. Um, cool? Jenny was traumatized by what happened. She was a mess. What had she done? At the hospital, Eric saw her and couldn’t help but console her. Why was she so upset? Then Jenny confessed what happened with Chuck. Eric was shocked, obviously. Jenny asked him to not tell anyone but Eric knew she needed help ASAP. So he went to Dan…Who then went to Jenny. Once Dan found out, well… to say Dan was mad would be an understatement. Uh oh.
Meanwhile, Chuck and Blair were finally reunited. Yay! Chuck apologized for everything. He said he wanted to make it all up to her. Even if it would take the rest of his life. And then he took out a small box and as he was about to ask B something, Dan Humphrey came out of nowhere and punched Chuck’s lights out. OMFG! Dan demanded that Chuck tell Blair what happened. Chuck was silent. Then Blair saw Jenny, tears in her eyes. She knew. Ugh! Blair was beyond angry. First, she told Jenny to get the hell off this island. If she ever saw her again there’d be major problems. Then, she let Chuck have it. How could he do this?! Chuck tried to reason with her — he was so upset about the whole Empire State Building thing! — but Blair didn’t want to hear it. In her mind, the whole night never happened. Blair and Chuck’s reunion was over before it even began. I cry. Dan and Serena had problems of their own. They were still dealing with the repercussions from my blast (sorrrry). So they made an agreement: the night they spent together meant nothing. Because they did nothing. Well, technically not “nothing” because they just so happened to have kissed! But a kiss really isn’t a big deal, right? Okay, keep telling yourself that, kids. Anyway, Dan and Serena didn’t want to jeopardize their relationships with Vanessa and Nate so they decided they’d just say that all they did together was sleep. When S finally talked to Nate, he was still super pissed, but Serena explained that all she wanted to do was make things right with him and start new. And Nate totally forgave her. Why are you so nice, Archibald! Then, at the hospital, Dan started feeling really guilty about what happened between him and S. Maybe they did need to tell Vanessa and Nate the truth? But Serena told Dan she didn’t know if now was the right time to tell. And guess who overheard the whole conversation…? Nate! And Nate did not think that a kiss was nothing. D and S obviously still have feelings for each other. Serena said that was ridiculous. But Nate wasn’t too sure. And he wasn’t happy either. In fact he was so unhappy he stooped to the level of so many other UES’ers. He sent the blast of D and S in bed to Vanessa in Haiti. Yikes. But even after all that happened, Nate still decided to forgive Serena. He believed in their relationship and thought they could get past this. But Serena had a different idea. She needed time to be alone. Maybe they should take a break? Nate was taken aback. He forgave her and yet she was breaking up with him? Serena gave the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel but Nate didn’t even care. Because in this case it really was Serena and Nate wasn’t gonna wait around for her to get her crap together. It was over. Caput. Dunzo. RIP Nate and Serena. On a happier note, Dorota gave birth to her baby. It was a happy, healthy little girl named Anastasia. Aside from the godparents, Eleanor and Cyrus, trying to hold the newborn as much as possible, I hear mother, father and baby Ana are doing great. Yay a happy ending!
One week later, Jenny was packed up and getting shipped off to Hudson. Okay, she wasn’t really being shipped off but she was dropped off at Grand Central by her dad, Lily, Dan and Eric. Though it seemed like Jenny was finally at peace with this. She’d gotten everything she could from NYC. It was time to go somewhere new. Bye, little J (u’ll always be that to me). It’s been real. On the UES, Blair was getting ready for her summer abroad in Paris. Oui, oui. And she had a surprise for Serena: S was coming with her. Our two favorite girls in Paris together? Ooh, la la. Best summer ever! Back at the Humphrey Loft, Dan was writing a heartfelt email to Vanessa when Nate called. The boys made up, awww, and then Nate told Dan that he and Serena were officially over. Hmm… And that’s when Dan immediately picked up the phone and called S. She and Blair were on the way to the airport for Paris. Once Dan hung up with her, he closed his V email and went online and looked for tickets to, kind of way romantic, Paris! OMG! Dan was going to go to Paris for Serena? Swoon! But sadly, enter Georgina to mess things up like usual. (And as you know from my reports, there was an evil blast from the past hanging around the UES with new long blonde hair! Huh?) Well, Dan was shocked to see her. But he was even more shocked when she told him she had something of his. And that’s when she took off her big coat and revealed a pregnant stomach. WTF? She announced she was having a boy and from the ultrasound pictures he looked just like his dad. Dan impregnated Georgina all those months ago!?! Head is exploding as we speak. I’m pretty sure you’re wondering where Chuck wound up after all that went down. Well, turns out he went to Prague. After giving his little black book to Nate (who will definitely be giving that book a workout this summer), Chuck flew to the Czech Republic to get away. And after stumbling out of a bar a bit drunk, Chuck came face to face with two muggers. As they searched his pockets for money, they found something even more valuable: a diamond engagement ring. OMG! Chuck said they could take his money but he wouldn’t let them take the ring so easily. So what’d they do? They shot him. OMFG! They shot Chuck Bass! Then the thieves ran off leaving Chuck for dead. Nooooo… Gah! Cannot wait to find out what happens with all our faves. Unfortunately, summer is the time when yours truly takes a little break. I mean I work way too hard during the year to not get this time to myself. But don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it. And I’m pretty sure it’ll be worth the wait. Have a good summer, gossip lovers. xo xo Gossip Girl | 508 Comments » Where There’s a Will, There a Naughty WayMay 11th, 2010
Serena was holding onto a huge secret: Rufus cheated on her mom with their neighbor, Holland! Ugh, men. She told her dad about it and he said they should hold off on telling Lily. Stress wouldn’t be good for her condition. But when Rufus stopped by the apartment, Serena couldn’t help but tell him that Holland had informed her about what happened between them. Rufus was confused. What exactly did Holland say happened? Serena didn’t want to get into it, but Rufus wasn’t letting it go. So he called up Holland in order to set the record straight. In front of all the van der Woodsens, Holland told her side of the story: Rufus slept with her. OMFG! Rufus denied it but Lily had heard enough. She seemed to believe Holland! Why would their neighbor fib? What’d she have to gain? Rufus didn’t know what Holland’s game was but he knew she was 100% lying. Hmmm… Meanwhile, Blair was preparing for her first real date with Cameron, the Columbia guy she met at the Brooklyn art party. Finally she was going to go on a real date. One that wasn’t with Chuck or Nate or Lord Marcus (whoa, blast from the freaking past). But it looked like Blair wasn’t going to be able to truly enjoy her time with this new beau. Chuck and Jenny needed help getting to the bottom of Lily’s mysterious medication. But Blair told them to get the hell out. She had a date! And seriously, Chuck. Bringing Jenny Humphrey? How low can you stoop? Though Chuck and Jenny weren’t the only ones in need of assistance from the queen of scheme. Dan and Nate needed Blair’s guidance as well. They had to figure out who this Holland lady really was. Dan knew his dad couldn’t have cheated on Lily and Nate also believed Rufus. This time, Blair couldn’t help but get involved. As well as come up with a plot or too. After discovering Holland was a psychiatrist, they went to her office. And guess who just so happened to be there too? Why, Chuck and Jenny. Turned out, Holland wasn’t just accusing people of adultery. She was also prescribing bad drugs. Yep, she was the doctor who was giving Lily antibiotics. Everyone realized why Holland was doing all this. It was obvious she was trying to poison Lily to get closer to Rufus. And, of course, our faves knew there was only one way to handle this: take that bitch down! At the event that night, everyone was ready for Operation Stop Dr. Evil. Nate had called in a favor and a member of the American Medical Association was going to show up and help expose Holland’s naughty ways. It was Jenny’s job to wait for Dr. Tabb, the AMA member, to show up. But instead of holding up her end of the deal, Jenny decided to go rogue. She had a secret plan. After a really icy confrontation with Serena, Jenny just wanted things to go back to normal. Normal as in three years ago normal aka living Brooklyn with just the Humphreys – ew, I know. Who’d want that? But I guess she didn’t want the UES life anymore. Nor did she want to be in a family where her own step-sister treated her so badly (FYI I am totally Team Serena but that’s besides the point…). Anyway, Jenny called up Dr. Tabb and told him they no longer needed his help. Um, thanks, J. Who’s the homewrecker now? With no Dr. Tabb in sight, it was time to improvise and Blair and Chuck decided to do what they do best: role play. The two accosted Dr. Holland and divulged all their dating woes to her. Couples therapy style. From the whole Jack incident to the kissing a guy episode, Blair and Chuck let it all out. Surprisingly, it seemed like it was actually good to spill. And Holland sure was overwhelmed by their problems. Dang these two had their share of troubles. But once Blair and Chuck got the cue from Dan, their role playing was over. Blair and Chuck told Holland there was an AMA member (aka a waiter pretending to be an AMA member, lol) on her tail. Then she finally decided to come clean about all the false prescriptions. The only reason she wrote the prescriptions was because she owed someone a favor. And who was that someone? Will van der Woodsen. OMFG!
Before the gang could unleash the fury on Will, Jenny told him all about their discovery and that he had to get out of there before the truth came out. Ugh, life ruiner! So Will gathered his family and said one of his patients had an emergency down in Palm Beach. He had to leave ASAP. Perhaps Lily, Serena and Eric could come with him as a family? As they began to pack up, Serena got a call from Dan warning her about her dad. But she didn’t want to hear it. They were going to Palm Beach with him no matter what. Yikes! While Serena was packing, everyone got filled in on the whoooooole story. Turned out, Will was the mastermind behind this entire ruse. He had intentionally sent that letter to Serena about him being with Lily over the summer with the hopes of it coming between Lily and Rufus. When that didn’t work out, Will turned to Holland. He had her befriend Rufus so she could seduce him. But obviously that didn’t work either. So he went to plan C. Will had Holland prescribe bad medicine to make it seem like Lily was still sick. If Will swooped in and “saved” her, he’d look like the hero and win back the affection of Lily and his children. EVIL (albeit a bit brilliant too). Luckily Rufus showed up before everyone left for Florida. He told Lily everything. Will could not believe these allegations against him. He said he’d prove that Lily was actually sick. All he needed to do was get his files from downstairs. But guess what? Everyone was going to be waiting awhile for those files. Because Will never came back up to the apartment. WTF?! Serena could not believe her dad did this to her. Again. She went to the helipad to find him before he left the city (coward, much?). Will admitted that Lily was really sick last summer and while he was treating her he fell back in love with her. He thought this ridiculous plan was the only way to get his family back. Serena was beyond upset. Her dad obviously was not the man she thought he was. Will suggested she come away with him but Serena couldn’t bring herself to leave. Though she did warn him that the cops (who were called by Nate) were on their way to arrest him. Will had to get away fast. Poor Serena. Her dad finally comes back and this is the way it ends Serena needed a friend. Unfortunately, Nate was not a good option. He obviously wasn’t on her side. But she was in the mood to talk to someone else: Dan Humphrey. Interesting? Kind of. Scandalous? Absolutely. Jenny confessed to everyone that she’d been the one to warn Will they were onto him. But in Jenny’s mind, even though Will was out of the picture now it didn’t mean Lily and Rufus would be fine. They fought all the time and it wasn’t just affecting their marriage. It was affecting their kids too. Jenny just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. Before Lily and Rufus got married. Sigh. But it looked like no one felt the same way, especially Rufus and Lily. Even Eric had enough of Jenny’s angst and said the meanest thing ever (though sort of deserved). He told her that if she didn’t want to be a part of the family anymore she didn’t have to stay. OMG! Jenny had nowhere to go. Everyone hated her. So she showed up at the Empire looking for a place to crash. And Nate totally let her in. BONKERS!
At the end of the extremely busy night, Chuck confronted Blair about all that went down that night. There was no denying she felt something when they were pretending to be a feuding couple. Blair said it was just a game. But Chuck didn’t believe her. So he gave her an ultimatum. Chuck said he’d wait for her the next night on the top of the Empire State Building. If she didn’t show up by 7:01 he’d close his heart to her forever. OMG! Chuck was Affair to Remember’ing Blair!!! Ahhhh. Can’t catch my breath. Will B show up? OMG! I don’t think I can handle the suspense. I’m hoping for a reunion. What about you? Though you know what they say: The Empire State Building is the closest thing to heaven in this city. Let’s see if that’s true… xo xo Gossip Girl | 80 Comments » Keep the Gossip Coming, Please!May 4th, 2010
I’ve had an absolutely exhausting week. Been busy, busy, busy. And you know me. That just makes me happy, happy, happy. Our favorites gave me some great gossip. Thanks, kids! Things were a bit strained over at the van der Woodsen-Humphrey abode. With Dr. Will constantly around, it was a tad awkward. But as long as Will was Lily’s doctor this was how it was going to be; whether people liked it or not - I’m talking to you, Rufus and Eric. And speaking of Eric, he wasn’t very interested in daddy being back. And who could blame him? Will didn’t even know his son was gay or that he tried to commit suicide. As far as Eric was concerned, Will was not a part of his life. Ouch! Serena, on the other hand, was enjoying having her dad around. It was her step-sister, Jenny, that she couldn’t stand. Seriously, who can blame her after the whole Jenny trying to steal Nate ordeal? So Serena decided to move back into her old room (the one Jenny had been living in for the past year) and give Jenny the ol’ boot. And we all know Jenny. She’s not one to push over. But before J could put up a fight, Dr. Will announced he was moving, too… into a rental in the VDWs building. Uh-oh. All the van der Woodsens under one roof? Um, sweet or tragic? Meanwhile, Blair was dealing with her own living situation for next year. Her NYU minions wanted her to move into an apartment on, ugh it’s almost too gross to write, a street that’s lettered, not numbered. I know, nasty! Gross. Disgusting. Gag me. Anyway, Blair decided she needed some space from downtown so she went way uptown and strolled around Columbia. Okay, so the Upper West Side, also not my scene but it’s better than a lettered street and the campus is gorgeous. On the way to Nate’s lacrosse games, she ran into Zoe and Jessica aka the hairband girls from Eleanor Waldorf’s fashion show. They were confused to see Blair that far uptown AND on the West Side. Unless…could it be?! Was Blair Waldorf transferring to Columbia?! Blair didn’t know what to say. She desperately wanted it to be true… So she fibbed a little and said YES! Blair was transferring! Go lions?
Blair loved the attention. These girls were totally her kind of people. They even cheered Blair on to plot and connive after she received a text from Serena detailing the whole room situation w/ Jenny. Jessica revealed that Jenny had actually sold her boyfriend Adderall a few months ago. Hmm…Blair ran with it and sent me the tip. And, of course, I broadcasted for all to see that Jenny Humphrey was a drug dealer. Is that mean? Lol. Once Nate saw my blast about Jenny, he knew Blair was behind it. He called her and said she shouldn’t be stooping so low. Why did Blair and Chuck have to deal with their issues like this? Why were they reverting to their old ways after the break up? Did sending a nasty blast or two really cheer her up? Blair couldn’t deny it. But she had other issues too, like pretending to be a Columbia student. And guess who just so happened to overhear her say she was lying about being a Columbia student? Why, Jessica. Yikes. And like I said those girls were Blair’s kind of girls and thus Jessica sent me a tip: Spotted: B, claiming to be a co-ed at Columbia when everyone knows she’s a zero at NYU. Poor B, first she lost Chuck and now her dignity. Sorrrrrrry… But one way Blair could make things semi-right was to talk to Chuck. Apparently, he hadn’t gone to visit Lily since finding out she had cancer. Blair knew this had to do with losing Bart and then having Elizabeth betray him. If Chuck lost Lily too it’d be devastating. So Blair told him to not close his heart to Lily Back at the mostly van der Woodsen-not as much Humphreys, Will was preparing to be honored at an gala at Columbia. Serena was excited for the event. But before she could celebrate she found out some bad news: Will was rejected by the co-op board. No apartment for him. And who was behind it? Rufus. Rufus didn’t deny it. In fact, he stood by it. It was so obvious to him that Will was only moving into the building to get even closer to Lily. But Lily didn’t believe that was the case. She was pissed and Serena was so upset she told Rufus he shouldn’t come to the gala. Rough, Rufus. So Rufus was home alone when Eric caught him moping around the apartment. Eric told Rufus that he shouldn’t just sit back. He needed to put up a fight. No other man has made his mom as happy as Rufus does. Rufus needed the pep talk. Just then, Elliot stopped by the apartment. He had received a call from Eric’s dad saying that he was free that evening. Eric figured it was Rufus who made the call but it wasn’t. It was Will. Interesting. As Rufus headed out to the event, he told Elliot that maybe Dr. VDW wasn’t so bad after all… At the gala, Chuck showed up. Yay. He found Lily and apologized for being absent. She obviously understood. Chuck told her that he would be by her side the entire time as she went through this difficult period. All I can say to that is: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Blair was also at the event and after a rude run in with Zoe and Jessica, she wasn’t feeling so Blair Waldorf-y. Those bitches. But while at the bar, B’s luck began to change. She met a man who had heard of the famous Blair Waldorf. No, he doesn’t read my site. The reason he knew Blair’s name was because he worked at the Columbia admissions department and he had just read Blair’s application to transfer. Whaaaat? And the even better news was that she got in! WTF???? Blair was floored. But then Nate explained that Chuck always joked about applying for Blair since B was too prideful to do it herself. Guess he actually went through with it. OMG! Blair Waldorf officially at Columbia?! <3 it! Once Rufus arrived at the gala, he was in for a rude awakening. As Will took the stage to be honored, he made a passionate speech. One in which he said he made the biggest mistake by leaving his family and that he was going to do everything he could to make it right. And then, are you ready?, he said he loved “you.” Um, Will loves Lily?! Rufus could not believe Will made a public plea like that. Who the ef does that? Lily finally acknowledged that Rufus might be right about Will’s intentions but she didn’t appreciate Rufus demanding she get a new doctor ASAP. Didn’t Rufus trust her? Seemed like he didn’t. Then Lily said maybe they should spend the night apart. To think things over. Hmm… While Serena had been pro-Will this whole time, she too was taken aback by his speech… until she talked to Holland by the coat check. You remember Holland, right? The lady from the co-op board who Rufus had been hanging out with. Well, Holland let Serena in on a little secret. Supposedly, Rufus cheated on Lily with her. WHAT. THE. FRAK?!
Jenny also showed up to the gala. And she came face to face with a girl she dealt drugs to. This girl was not a happy customer. Turns out, the drugs Jenny sold her weren’t Oxycotin. They were antibiotics. The girl didn’t get high. She got a yeast infection. Ugh. And what do you know? Rufus overheard the whole interaction. But before Jenny could explain, Rufus told her to get her things. They were going home. To Brooklyn. Back at the loft, Jenny did some Internet research on cancer. Something was really weird about the pills she stole from Lily’s medicine cabinet. So Jenny called someone she knew could help: Chuck. And he, of course, was ready to get the bottom of this. All the while, Dan and Vanessa were adjusting to the idea that she’d been accepted to Tisch and he hadn’t been. Dan was still a tad upset so he decided they shouldn’t talk about certain things. Like anything that has to do with school, internships, jobs, etc. Therefore their topics of conversation were limited to Jersey Shore and politics. Wow, fun. But when Rufus told Dan he’d gotten a call from CNN about an internship Vanessa applied for (in HAITI, btw!!) Dan felt totally out of the loop. So Dan confronted Vanessa about it and she told him since that was a topic on their do-not-discuss-list she didn’t tell him. Besides, she wasn’t even going to take it because it would involve going out of the country for a few months and she didn’t want to lose Dan. Even though Dan appreciated her saying no, he had to step in. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Doing something V always dreamed of doing. She’d be stupid not to take it. Dan assured Vanessa that they’d still be a couple. They’ll just do the long distance thing. Cute, I guess. After the gala, the four van der Woodsens – Lily, Serena, Erict, and Dr. Will!!! –returned to the apartment sans any Humphreys. When Rufus called, Serena got to the phone first. After hearing Holland’s secret, Serena told Rufus her mom needed time to cool off but she’d let her know he called. And taking a cue from Jenny Humphrey, it looked like Serena wasn’t gonna give Lily the message. Instead she was going to spend some time with her family: mom, dad and brother. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think they were one big, happy…Oh, I won’t go there. Just yet. xo xo Gossip Girl | 104 Comments »
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