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I can barely keep my eyes open after what was an extremely busy and strenuous week. You’re welcome for all the juicy gossip I gave you. You know I had to reward my faithful readers with something for these past four loyal years. Hope I didn’t disappoint…

Graduation day was here and all our favorites were ready to pomp and circumstance and do whatever it was that graduating seniors do. It seemed like our kids were leaving Constance and St. Jude’s unlike how they arrived: quietly. That was until I decided to go out with a bang. Sorry. But I just had to do something to liven up graduation. So I came up with labels for my favorites. Don’t hate. Chuck Bass: coward. Blair Waldorf: weak. Nate Archibald: whore. Dan Humphrey: ultimate insider. Serena van der Woodsen: soon to be has been.

Serena was beyond pissed. She didn’t like the way I tagged everyone and ruined graduation. Well, sorry Miss Judgmental. She decided to take matters into her own hands and find out who was behind this amazing site. With the help of her friends, everyone came together to unmask my identity. Chuck believed I was at Serena’s post-graduation luncheon so he sent me a blast. And whose phone just happened to buzz at that exact moment? Why Jonathan’s, Eric’s beloved boyfriend. This meant Jonathan was Gossip Girl??

Nope. He wasn’t (you think I would go to Montreal for winter break? Yeah freaking right). The reason Jonathan’s phone went off was because he had hacked into my system and was receiving all my emails (not to self: change password ASAP!). Because of this, Jonathan had a whole lot of dirt on everyone. This was good for no one. Except Jenny Humphrey. The Mean Girls were set on finding a new Queen Bee to take over. If Jenny wanted the job then she had to bring them the most gossipworthy piece of unknown information. Jenny didn’t even want the gig but she also didn’t want to be the lowest on the Constance food chain. Plus, Emma Boardman (remember the girl who was like obsessed with losing her V-card last fall?) had recently moved to the city and was enrolling in Constance in September. That girl was like Penelope/Hazel/Isabel 2.0. Yuck. But thanks to Jonathan, Jenny had some really juicy info. Although, this gossip would totally destroy Blair/Chuck. What was Jenny to do?

Meanwhile, Blair was obsessed with the information Serena had given her re: Chuck saying he loved her. Was it an “I LOVE HER!” or an “I love her?” Blair was dying to know how Chuck enunciated it as well as see if she could make him say it again. Obviously, this was not easy. Chuck would just not do it. UGH! What the eff, Chuck? Man up!

However, it seemed like the idea of Chuck ever saying he loved Blair changed when I decided to do an air raid. Of gossip. I sent out tons of confidential info that no one had known about: Dan and Ms. Carr having sex in the costume closet. Jenny’s semi nude photoshoot. Chuck sleeping with Vanessa. Blair shoplifting. Nate turning his dad into the FBI. And most importantly, Blair and Jack Bass hooking up on New Year’s. You didn’t think I’d let you all leave for college without a huge scandal, now did you?

Everyone was livid at each other. This was not the way to find out about your BFF’s most inner and darkest secrets. Wah wah. Maybe if you all weren’t so wicked this wouldn’t have happened (but then our lives would be way boring so thank you for being so salacious!). Chuck was beyond angry at Blair. How could she do that to him? And with his uncle? Blair tried to explain. Chuck had skipped town. She was lonely. Jack was there. But anyway that was beside the point. Blair didn’t want to be weak anymore. She demanded to hear those three words from Chuck once and for all. She knew he meant it. All he had to do was repeat it. Just say it! And of course, Chuck just couldn’t do it. Maybe he was a coward. Blair was crushed. Guess she and Chuck were just destined to never be together. Worst. News. Ever.

Now that all the juicy gossip was out, Jenny didn’t have a one up on the Mean Girls. This meant she was going to have to live under the dictatorship of Emma next year. Sucks. But luckily, Blair came to her defense. In Blair’s eyes, Jenny was her queen. And this meant in the fall Jenny would rule the school. Eat it, Emma. You’re under Jenny’s reign now.

My attack only made everyone more interested in finding out my true identity. So Serena texted me to meet her at The Oak Room. Did I show my face? Of course not. But I did send out a blast to everyone to meet there. Come on, people. You all make me who I am. I couldn’t do it without you. In one way or another, you’re all Gossip Girl. But I am the Gossip Girl. Don’t ever forget that. You know you love me. And you’ll be happy to know I’m coming to college with you. See ya in fall, bitches!

One week later, Dan and Vanessa were hanging out downtown by their new school, NYU. This was how it was going to be next year (um, in a coffee shop in a less than stellar zip code? Seems like some things never change). Nate showed up in his intern clothes (sexy!). The mayor’s office was not exactly what he had in mind. He begged Vanessa to take him with her to Europe. Maybe they could still have that backpacking trip they had planned earlier in the year? And seriously, how could Vanessa say no? Nate and Vanessa’s European Adventures? So jealous! Oh, and guess who the crew bumped into at the coffee shop? A random kid named Scott who had just transferred to NYU from BU. He seemed kind of cool. And familiar. I have a feeling he might be…possibly…could be, um, Lily and Rufus’ lovechild?!? Not dead, living in NYC and going to NYU? All I can say is WOW.

Serena was getting ready to spend her summer in Europe too. Looked like she was going to have a nice summer traveling around and being free-spirited Serena. Or was she? Serena was greeted by Carter Baizen (um, yes, not a misprint). He told her he finally found what they had been looking for in Santorini a couple years ago: her father. And now it seemed that her dad was in Fiji. Whaaaat? Serena had been looking for daddy van der Woodsen? Who would have known? Serena went off to Fiji to find him. With Carter. Interesting. Very interesting.

Blair was still upset over the whole Chuck thing. And to make matters worse, it didn’t help when I reported Chuck being spotted all around Europe. Summer 2008 flashback, what? However, Blair was being strong and moving on. New school, new people, new life. But then Chuck came back to the city and found Blair walking on the street. He told her why he was really in Europe: he was in Paris to get her favorite macaroons, Berlin for her favorite stockings. And then Chuck finally said it: I love you. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What we have been waiting for all this time! TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, C! Blair was ecstatic. OMG Chuck loves Blair. Blair loves Chuck. We can all die happy now. Woo hoo!

But sorry to rain on your parade, Blair. What goes around comes around. You know how you were all mean and stuff to Georgina? Well, that girl doesn’t take it lying down. Stealing the wheel from Jesus, Georgina decided to take control of her life and enrolled at NYU. And guess who she requested to live with? Yep, Blair Waldorf. Meet your new roomie, B. Who’s gonna bring the mini-fridge?

Oh and BTW in old people news: Rufus and Lily made up. They are madly in love, blah blah blah and Rufus proposed! OMFG they’re getting married. Serena and Dan will finally be step-brother and sister and Jenny will soon be moving into the VDW/Bass apartment. This is a game changer, people. Can’t wait to see what happens.

What a way to end the school year. This year was bananas on bananas. I would recap it all but I am just so tired. Go back and read my old blogs to refresh your memory on what an eventful 2008-2009 it has been. Because I’ve had such a crazy year I am going to take some time off this summer to reflect. As well as get ready for next year. You know I’ll miss you. Xoxo Gossip Girl.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 169 Comments »

OMG!  Can you believe we’re graduating?  After four long years it’s finally coming to an end.  No more pencils.  No more books.  No more teachers–Well, until college at least.  Goodbye, Constance.  Goodbye, St. Jude’s.  It’s been real…or rather, really drama filled.  And I know what you’re all thinking.  You’re welcome.  High school wouldn’t have been the same without yours truly.  I may not have been the nicest but I was definitely the most fun.  What would high school have been without me?  Oh wait.  I know: B-O-R-I-N-G.  But have no fear.  It ain’t over just yet.   We still have a few more days of HS left.   I can’t promise anything but I will say that I might have some salacious ammo up my sleeve.  Gotta go out with a bang, right?

xo xo Gossip Girl | 70 Comments »

Oh prom. The night we’d been waiting for since we first stepped out of our limos and town cars and into our prestigious private schools. Some of us (ahem, Blair Waldorf) had been expecting the most perfect event of our entire academic career. So was prom 2009 perfect? Not even close. But it was monumental and oh so gossip worthy.While prom was only hours away, Serena was still locked up after getting arrested for the “stolen” bracelet. Thanks, Lily. After Lily realized Serena learned her lesson, she finally came to drop the charges and let her daughter flee the coop. Serena could not believe her mother would do this to her. What kind of mother was Lily? To not only have the police arrest her only daughter but then to have her actually locked up over night, what the hell, mom? Lily was just trying to teach her daughter some respect. Serena didn’t care. She wanted nothing to do with her mother. Serena wasn’t going anywhere. She was staying in jail and giving Lily a dose of her own medicine. Oh Serena. Looks like you were ditching a prom dress for an orange jumpsuit.

Meanwhile, Blair’s prom preparations weren’t going as planned. For a girl who had made a “prom scrapbook” before she could barely read, everything was turning disastrous. The florist lost Blair’s corsage, the limo had been already booked, the hotel room was canceled and Blair’s dress was ruined at the dry cleaners. The horror! Blair was panicking. She and Nate were supposed to have a perfect night celebrating their perfect relationship as well as the end of a perfect four years. Nate had his suspicions as to what was going on. Chuck was obviously sabotaging them! But when Nate confronted him, he denied it. How many times did Chuck have to tell him? Blair was all Nate’s. Hmm…

Over in Brooklyn, Dan was getting ready to not go to prom. He, his sister and Vanessa were going to watch scary movies (how depressing and cliché). Their prom night sounded like it was going to be just like every other sad night in their lives. But when Dan found out Serena was still in jail he knew what he had to do. He sprung her. Dan couldn’t let Serena miss her prom. I hate to say this but: Dan Humphrey, what you did was a pretty stand up thing and I half salute you (only half bc as far as I’m concerned you’re still a narc from DUMBO).

At the prom, Blair was dealing with the Mean Girls once again (btw, Blair received a dress from Paris, presumably from her father. And this new dress was AMAZING!). The Mean Girls were trying to ruin Blair’s chance of being prom queen. They were going to stuff the box with ballots that had Nelly Yuki’s name on it. Seriously, Nelly Yuki as prom queen? No thanks. As much as I love Nelly Yuki, this is prom queen not nerd queen. When Penelope went up to announce the winner she was surprised. Nelly Yuki was not the winner. It was Blair! Oh, and Nate was prom king, duh. And who was behind it all? Chuck Bass. Yep, seemed like he knew all about Blair’s prom scrapbook and was determined to make all her dreams come true. OHMYGOD!

Even though Blair got everything she wanted she was still feeling kind of bad about something. That’s when she realized that maybe this was the end of her and Nate. Nate was her high school boyfriend. And perhaps that was all he’d ever be. But it was possible that what the two of them had was something that could never go beyond the hallways of Constance and St. Jude’s. So Blair and Nate broke up. And you know what? I kind of respect them for their mature decision.

Serena and Blair met each other outside the prom. They regaled over how they had been though so much together. They were practically sisters. Aww. Like I’ve said before no one does Besties better than Serena and Blair! They make my heart melt. Of course, Serena had to fill in Blair about what Chuck had said to her that night at the Russian Tea Room. Ahhh. Blair was finally going to know how Chuck actually felt about her!!

All the while, Rufus was still upset with Lily over having Serena arrested. But he realized that it wasn’t Serena who needed to change. It was Lily. And even after twenty years, Rufus believed she was still trying to figure out she was. This hit Lily hard. Maybe Rufus was right. Lily realized the only way to make things right was to be on better terms with her own mother. She made mistakes just like Cece had made (even though she never in a million years thought she’d be that kind of mother). Now, Lily kind of understand Cece better and she was finally able to forgive her mother for all the things that had happened in the past (ie giving baby away for adoption, paying off Rufus, etc). Sweet. And luckily, Serena was wiling to forgive Lily too. Let’s give it up for mothers and daughters uniting (what? Even Gossip Girl has a mother :p ).

Okay so now that prom’s out of the way, we have graduation coming up next. The end of senior year is way tiring. Also, I have a feeling I am going to be very busy in the upcoming week. I might be dropping some explosive info. Gossip bombs away. Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 53 Comments »

I feel like such a slacker.  Prom is only days away and yet I’ve done absolutely zero reporting on it.  I guess that’s what happens when there’s so much other drama going on (not that I’m complaining, obvi).  Is anyone else extremely excited for what should be a night we will never forget?  You know I am.  I hear this year Constance and St. Jude’s will announce a Prom Queen and King.  Hmm…Who do you think should win?  Who do you think will win?  I know who I’m voting for.  But I’m not gonna say.  Don’t want to sway any votes.  You know how persuasive I can be.  See ya at the dance!  I’ll be the one having a ball…

xo xo Gossip Girl | 59 Comments »

Shock. Total and utter shock. Serena van der Woodsen in jail? And because her own mother had her arrested? OMFG! Could it get any crazier than that? Of course it can. This is the Upper East Side, people! Okay, okay, let’s go back to how this all started so we can totally understand what exactly went down…

Gabriel had vanished with all the money Lily, her Coop and Rufus had given him to invest. Serena could not believe this was happening. She brought that loser into everyone’s lives and because of her people had just lost serious $$. Serena decided to take it into her own hands to get the money back from Gabriel. So she did what any girl would do in order to get a guy to talk to her ASAP: Serena told Gabriel she was pregnant. And it worked. Dude called back in literally seconds. Serena met Gabriel at The Palace and told him she wasn’t knocked up. Instead, she wanted all the money he was stealing back. Gabriel told her he didn’t have it. Poppy did. It was all her scheme. Turned out, Poppy was actually a faux-calite. She snuck her way into high society and was just lucky to make friends with rich people. This meant it was Poppy they were after. Bitch was going down.

By trying to clean up thw huge mess herself, Serena was hoping to not have to tell her mom about this unfortunate incident. Lily had been treating Serena so well lately. Seemed like she was truly proud of the woman Serena was becoming. Lily even gave her a diamond bracelet that was a family heirloom (it was like way, way nice). This made Serena even more uncomfortable about having to explain the money issue. She was set on working this out all on her own. If she could just get the money back and return to everyone then all would be good. Right? Unfortunately, Dan Humphrey ruined all that. Dan overheard Serena et al. talking about Gabriel taking the money and fleeing. He was stunned. Rufus had given Gabriel Dan’s college dough. Without that money there was no way Dan was gonna go to college. So he did what any dorky and neurotic kid would do: he went straight to Lily. Ugh (go back to Brooklyn). Lily wanted to keep this totally under wraps. If word got out about them being involved, Serena’s life could be ruined. Do you know what kind of bad press this would be? Lily decided to pay back all the investors herself (it’s good to be a Bass). For Rufus, though, she was making an exception. Lily was going to pay him $5,000 a month. Seemed not only a little preferential but also a bit like charity.

And while Lily was doing that, Rufus was preparing to pop the question. Yep, he wanted to be her fifth husband. Rufus went to Eric to ask for Lily’s hand in marriage (adorable!!). Eric, of course, gave his blessing but was a little apprehensive about the way Rufus was going to propose. Lily was used to elaborate proposals (like on top of pyramids or in blimps). This was not something Rufus could give to her. But he made due and decided to do it the Humphrey way. Rufus cooked up a dinner of Lily’s favorite foods and brought her lilies. Looked like the van der Woodsens (+Chuck) and the Humphreys were officially going to be united for good.

In order to get Poppy the crew needed to whip up the most badass plan they could think of. Luckily, Georgina was there. While she was still in love with Jesus, she was easily convinced to play the part of Sherilyn Phillips, a rich Canadian who was new to New York. The first person “Sherilyn” was to meet in the Big Apple? Why none other than Poppy Lifton (and obviously Poppy agreed to meet since she only associates with rich people). The group bugged Georgina and waited around the Russian Tea Room until Poppy started talking money. It was only a matter of time until they had Poppy right where they wanted her. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but: Thanks for your help, Georgina.

While everyone was waiting, some major drama went down. First off, Blair was still deciding if she wanted to move into Nate’s apartment with him. This was a huge step and one she couldn’t make properly until a major question was answered: what the hell was Chuck’s deal? If Chuck wanted her then he had to tell her that. If he didn’t then she could be free. But she couldn’t make up her mind until she knew exactly how Chuck felt. So she made him tell her. And sadly, he said it was all just a game. NOOOOO! Blair was heartbroken but at least now she could move on with her life. Serena heard the whole thing and could not believe Chuck did that. What the eff? And then he finally admitted it. The reason he told Blair that it was a game was because he actually did love her (and he really said “I LOVE HER!” AHH). Chuck just couldn’t give her what she needed. OMFG! Chuck Bass just admitted he loved Blair Waldorf! But he didn’t tell her that. GAH!

Blair informed Nate she wasn’t going to move in with him. Not because of Chuck but just because it wasn’t right. Nate agreed. They still had issues they had to work out. Blair told him maybe their next step should be prom. Omg! Prom. I almost totally forgot about it with all this crazy action happening. But yes, Nate and Blair going to prom together is like icing on the cake to four years of high school.

Georgina had Poppy right under her thumb. Or rather, “Sherilyn” did. She offered to give money for the investment and, of course, Poppy happily accepted. Yes! It was time for the bitch to get what she deserved. Unfortunately, when the cops got to the Russian Tea Room they weren’t there for Poppy. Rather, they were there for Serena! Turned out, in order to stop Serena from turning this mess into a big deal, Lily called in the police. She said her bracelet was stolen and Serena had taken it. OMG! So while Serena was being handcuffed, Poppy was able to get out scott free. With Georgina’s bible money. Yep, Georgina had given Poppy money for bibles for the church camp (with the thought she would get it right back). OMJC!

But we all know Georgina Sparks. And while she has changed a bit no one effing crosses her. With Jesus on her side or not, Georgina was now out for Poppy’s blood. It was going to be the war of the Upper East Side bitches. This was gonna get ugly.

Meanwhile, over at the van der Woodsens Rufus was about to get on his knee. However, he found the paperwork re: Lily paying him $5,000 a month. What the hell was that? When he confronted Lily she told him she had to take care of it herself. He was humiliated. Lily tried to explain but he didn’t care. When Serena got arrested it only made matters worse. How could Lily lock her daughter away like that? Lily argued it was for the best. She couldn’t let this scandal get out. It would totally embarrass her. Rufus was shocked. This didn’t sound like Lily. It sounded like Cece. Was Lily becoming her? Rufus wasn’t going to be proposing to Lily. Their families weren’t going to blend. Looked like it was over. Sadness.

ACK! This was insane. Serena’s in jail! Chuck admitted he loved Blair! Nate and Blair are going to prom together! Rufus and Lily are over?! Georgina is back to her old self! This is all amazing! Just what I like to see. And prom is only a week away. Save a dance for me? Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 78 Comments »