Word has it our movie star college student has officially left campus.  No more run-ins with the Endless Knights celebrity in the dining hall or seeing her at your 9am History of Ethics class MWF But on the bright side, this also means no more sightings of Olivia making out with Dan Humphrey.  Seriously those two were kind of gross.  Constantly making out on benches in Washington Square Park.  Yuck.  Though in actuality I will sort of miss Olivia.  She brought major star power to an otherwise lackluster college environment.  I suppose having the paparazzi around campus plus the invites to the movie premieres helped…Well, anyway good luck with Bitches of Eastwick, O!  Hopefully you’ll get to make out with someone hotter than Dan. (I doubt that’ll be very hard…)

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Dan Humphrey was feeling on top of the world.  I mean, come on.  He lived out every guy’s fantasy: a threesome.  With two really hot girls.  A far cry from Lonely Boy and his dorky past.  But little did Dan know he had made a huge mistake.  Nate informed him the third person in a threesome was supposed to be a stranger.  Not your weird homeschooled BFF.  Nate said things were going to get complicated.  And of course, he was right.  It seemed like the tension was way thick between roommates Vanessa and Olivia.  Since it was a tradition, Vanessa had made plans with Dan to see Morrissey.  But Olivia didn’t like the idea of her boyfriend going to a concert with his best friend/girl he had sex with.   And I don’t really blame her…

All Blair wanted was to find her place at college.  She thought maybe she would fit in with the Tisch kids.  Unfortunately for Blair, she wasn’t a film or theatre major and they wanted nothing to do with her However, the group, lead by writer/director/snob Paul Hoffman, was hoping that Lady GaGa would perform at a cabaret they were putting on at the Bleecker Inn.  Their attempts to get the Poker Face singer were failing.  But Blair had an in.  Her stepfather Cyrus Rose just so happened to be Lady GaGa’s lawyer.  She could help.  But the Tisch kids laughed in her face.  If their parents couldn’t get her then Blair’s random step dad definitely couldn’t.  They wanted nothing to do with B.  Jerks!  So Blair turned to Olivia.  Olivia had been invited to the cabaret.  Maybe Olivia and Blair could put a performance on together?  And then Olivia thought of something.   Dan had decided he wanted to start studying playwriting.  This would be the perfect opportunity for him to showcase his talent.  And the perfect opportunity to shut Vanessa out.  Dan canceled his plans with V and it looked like he was all Olivia’s.  Just the way she wanted it.

Dan, Olivia and Blair were going to take part in the cabaret.  Dan was going to write, Olivia was going to act and Blair was going to direct and produce.  Their piece would be a Lady GaGa Snow White musical.  Um, okay…Anyway, Dan felt bad about ditching Vanessa.  So he brought her in to work with them.  She was a much more experienced director than Blair and could really help them out.  Olivia and Blair were both not happy.  But Vanessa was now directing.  And boy, was this gonna be a cabaret to never forget.

While rehearsing, things weren’t going too well i.e. Olivia and Vanessa were butting heads.  Olivia accused Vanessa of boxing her out.  And not just in the cabaret.  Oh snap!  And that’s when Olivia dropped the bomb.  Vanessa was obviously in love with Dan.  Everyone knew it.  Yikes.  Both girls were irate and threatened to quit.  Blair was determined to make the show go off without a hitch.  So she talked to the two of them, or rather blackmailed them, and made sure they stuck around.  Olivia surely wouldn’t want Blair to send a tip to TMZ that a famous Hollywood actress had a threesome with two lame Brooklynites.  And I’m sure Vanessa wouldn’t want her parents finding out what she was doing at that conventional school of hers.  So the show went on!  Phew.

But of course it couldn’t be perfect.  Midway through, after performing her acoustic version of “Lovegame,” Olivia bailed.  Turned out, during their threesome Dan gave Vanessa a look he had never once given Olivia and kissed Vanessa like he’d never kissed Olivia before.  Dan was obviously in love with Vanessa.  Whaaaat?   With Olivia’s absence, this meant someone had to take her place.  And in came Vanessa.  Dan, playing the prince, had to kiss her on stage in front of all.  And when he did, he made it totally clear: he was in love with V!  OMFG!

Meanwhile, Serena was once again treading in dangerous waters.  Her flirtation with Trip had escalated and she didn’t know what do.  She was afraid of crossing the line with a married man.  So she went to Nate.  The two of them hadn’t been the best of friends since the whole Buckley poker game but Nate was Nate and Serena was Serena.  They had history.  Surely, he could be able to take her mind off Trip as well as keep her from doing anything she’d totally regret.  Nate had the perfect idea: they could get really drunk!  Aw just like the good old days.

But then Trip showed up at the bar Nate and Serena were at.  He had found out the truth about the Hudson Hero scandal.  It wasn’t his grandfather who had set it all up.  It was his wife Maureen.  And the only person Trip wanted to be with was Serena.  Nate was pretty let down.  Could it be?  Is Nate falling for S?  We all know his feelings for her in the past but have they come back?  Well, if they have then Serena wasn’t returning the feelings.  She decided to go off with Trip.  Poor N

All the while, Jenny was babysitting some kid named Damien.  He was the son of the Belgian Ambassador and was staying at Chuck’s hotel.  Chuck was supposed to be showing the kid around but Lily thought Jenny could do it.  Jenny was over Upper East Side guys.  Maybe a cute European bred guy could show her a good time?  Damien took Jenny to Central Park.  Luckily for her, girls from Chapin were there and got to see Jenny with her sexy date.  Make ‘em jealous, girl!  But unfortunately, Damien was into playing with boats at the Conservatory pond.  Loser!  This quickly went from an ultra envious situation to an ultra embarrassing situation.  Jenny needed an out.  But then Damien revealed that he wasn’t just playing with motorized boats.  He was using them as a way to sell drugs.  Whoa.  Jenny was surprised.  And, get this, was way into it!  You’d think she’d want nothing to do with this drug dealer.  But instead, she found the whole thing thrilling.  And wanted to do it again.  Turned out, being queen wasn’t as exciting as it seemed.  Jenny craved adventure.  My, my, my…

Jenny accompanied Damien to another drug deal.  This time Damien actually used Jenny in the process.  When a “client” came to their table at a club, Jenny was used as the go between.  She passed the drugs to the client and then the money to Damien.  Baby’s first drug deal.  Not so cute.  Damien suggested Jenny test the product.  But before she could do that Chuck showed up.  Jenny had called him earlier when she was bored with Damien and was looking to be saved.  Chuck had a maid check his room and sure enough found his drug stash.  Now Chuck was leaving with Jenny whether or not Damien liked it.  Jenny assured him she was fine, but he wasn’t going to leave her there.  Being escorted out of the club by your step-brother’s kind of way lame.  But guess what?  Jenny liked her brush with danger.  She even texted Damien she’d want to do it again.  OMG!  Jenny’s a bad, bad girl!

After the cabaret, Blair surprised everyone with, omg!, a performance by Lady GaGa!  Cyrus Rose came through!  So there, Tisch kids.  Lady GaGa sang Bad Romance and it was amazing.  Love her!!  Olivia returned to talk to Dan.  She apologized for bailing but she needed Dan to kiss Vanessa again.  For him to realize how much he was in love with her.  Now Olivia decided take a movie (Bitches of Eastwick – um, I’ll be there opening day, obvi).  She was leaving NYU.  This meant Dan could be with Vanessa.  Wow.  But sadly for D, Vanessa didn’t feel the same way about him.  She had a new crush.  On pretentious Paul Hoffman.  And like Nate, I’ll say this: Poor D

And guess what?  Serena did cross the line with Trip.  She kissed him.  Sure, his wife had done something terrible but he was still married to the woman.  Serena’s officially a mistress.  And a teenage one at that.  Oh, S.

Jenny gone bad!  Goodbye, Olivia!  Dan in love with Vanessa!  Serena + Trip!  Lady GaGa!  Talk about an eventful week.  Luckily for us things are only going to get juicier.  Thanksgiving’s just around the corner.  And if this year’s celebration is anything like those of the past you can be sure it’ll be action-packed.  Gobble gobble gossip!  Xoxo Gossip Girl.

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Spotted: B hanging around the Bleecker Inn.  Um, that’s not B’s usual scene.  Hmm…J at Constance overheard talking about the lack of good guys on the UES.  I hear that, girl.  V and her film class w/ cameras shooting stuff in Washington Square Park.  Probably lame shots of trees and stuff.  Call me when you make something good, V.  N carrying some boxes out of an UES townhouse.  Perhaps he’s helping his cousin make the move to DC?  D and Olivia seeing “An Education.”  Cute.  Friends supporting friends.  Remember Olivia and Carrie Mulligan were in that British indie movie together two years ago?  And again, S spotted w/ her bro E.  This time they were drinking hot chocolate at Le Pain Quotidien and this time they were sans Jonathan, obviously.  Van der Woodsen kids aren’t having very good luck lately…

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And no, she’s still not that kind of working girl.  Geez, people!  Rather, Serena is now working for Trip van der Bilt.  Doing what?  I’m not really sure.  Publicity, maybe?  I guess her experience doing PR for KC’s firm has helped her make the jump over to politics.  Never thought I’d see our “it” girl working in government affairs.  I think S might have gone to a fundraiser for Obama last year, but only because it was hosted by Scarlett Johansson.  That’s about as politically active as she got.  Maybe this is a step in the right direction for semi-lost Serena.  Let’s just hope she’s there to work and not for other reasons…

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What comes just once a year and brings girls from all the top schools in Manhattan together?  Why, the annual debutante ball, of course.  And you can be sure it was full of surprises, backstabbing and much, much more!

Remember two years ago when our former Little J was so eager to be noticed?  Remember how she yearned to be part of UES high society?  Well, she definitely succeeded.  Jenny Humphrey was finally going to be presented as a debutante.  See, kids, dreams do come true!  But sadly for J her big entrance wasn’t going as planned.  She was dateless.  And you absolutely positively could not be dateless to the debutante ball.  How gauche!  Jenny was hoping that maybe Graham Collins, the hottest guy on the UES, would take her but that was not panning out.  What was Jenny going to do?  Well luckily for her Eric was her step-brother.  Yes, the two had their big fight after Jenny had him yogurt’d and his bf egged but Eric was a good person.  He saw that Jenny didn’t know any of the dances for Cotillion since she hadn’t grown up going to dance classes (because, you know that’s not something they made you do in Brooklyn).  Eric took pity on her.  He told Jenny that Jonathan could take her to the ball.  Score!   But naturally people aren’t that nice.  Not even Eric.  Turned out he totally played Jenny.  Eric’s debutante ball date Kira, a fellow Constance student/in crowd wannabe, knew that Jenny was dying to go with Graham Collins.  And since she and Graham lived in the same building, she made a call and he agreed to take Jenny.  Unfortunately for J, Eric saw the text from Graham and unbeknownst to J replied that she already had a date.  Ruuude!!

Meanwhile, Serena and Blair were still at odds.  And to add insult to injury both were volunteering as mentors for the debutante ball.  Blair was not going to lose that battle.  She basically forced Serena to quit and took over as Jenny’s mentor.  But Serena didn’t even care.  She had a new job: she was working for Trip.  Serena in politics?  Um, okay.  Anyway, Blair was now in charge of making Jenny the best debutante NYC had ever seen.

Obviously, when Jenny found out the truth about the whole Graham thing she was beyond livid.  How could Eric sabotage her like that?  Even Jonathan didn’t like Eric’s back-stabbingness.  And that’s when Jenny decided to go rogue.  She didn’t need Eric, Jonathan or even her mentor Blair.  Jenny was the queen of Constance.  She was going to the ball with Graham and she wasn’t going to need their help anymore.  Whoa.  And knowing Blair, that wasn’t going to fly.  No one ditched Blair Waldorf and got away with it.

Blair was determined to take Jenny down.  With Eric’s help, of course.  Blair took over as Kira’s mentor and gave her a makeover.  Then she introduced her to her new date.  Kira wouldn’t be going with Eric anymore.  She’d be going with Graham Collins.  Um, he was by far the best date any girl on the UES could have.  But what about Jenny??
At the debutante ball, Jenny was so excited.  Her big moment had finally arrived.  She had earned it.  But when they announced her name, she was in for a huge surprise.  Graham was not going to be escorting her.  Rather, he was with Kira.   Jenny stood on stage in front of everyone with no escort.  Ouch.  How utterly mortifying.  I’d die.  Wonder if Brooklyn would consider taking back the now outcast?

Unfortunately for Blair, she missed the humiliation of Jenny Humphrey.  Blair was stuck in an elevator with none other than her sworn enemy Serena.  Chuck had enough of the girls fighting so he put a plan into action.  He got Serena and Blair to get into an elevator together.  Chuck locked them in and said he wouldn’t let them out until they worked out their problems.  Eek.  But surprisingly it worked.  Serena opened up about how she had been looking for her father all summer and how embarrassed she was when he turned her away.  Blair told her that it was her father’s loss for not getting to know her.  But Serena couldn’t let it go.  And because of that she had issues: the paparazzi, Carter, Brown and now Trip.  Wait, what?  Turned out, Serena had a crush on him and now that she was working for him, things were weird.  He had been treating her a bit odd and then finally admitted it was because he had feelings for her.  She wasn’t sure if she could trust herself around him.  Blair was shocked.  Carter was one thing but Trip was a married Congressman!  Blair begged Serena that if she wouldn’t speak or see Trip without talking to her best friend first.  Serena agreed and it seemed like our favorite feuding hotties were besties once again.

It was no accident that Jenny Humphrey was able to go from Brooklyn wannabe to Queen.  The girl had perseverance and wit and therefore was able to get herself out of another unfortunate situation.  She used her resources and called up the best date she could possibly think of: Nate Archibald!  OMFG!  Nate escorted her for all to see.  A college guy escorting a HS girl?  Um, beyond amazing.  Looked like Jenny won that battle.  Sorry B and E.

Eric could not believe Jenny came out on top.  He realized Jenny wasn’t worth the time.  Now Eric and Jonathan could move on with their lives.  Or not.  Jonathan didn’t like the way Eric schemed and what kind of person that had made him become.  Jonathan dumped Eric.  Noooo!!!  Jeric dunzo??  But Eric wasn’t giving up.  At least not on Jenny.  He told Kira that the next time they brought down Jenny, they were going to bring her down for good.  Oh snap.  It’s on!
Serena was taking Blair’s advice and decided to quit her job working for Trip.    But he wanted her to still work for him and he promised Serena he’d never cross the line with her.  Their relationship would be strictly platonic and professional.  Nothing more.  But then when they shook on it, it was kind of heated.  I know, I didn’t know a hand shake could be so hot either.  Too bad Blair walked in and saw it happen.  What was Serena doing??  Serena told Blair she was fine and that she would call her in the morning.  Huh?  Blair was pissed.  Were S&B going to be fighting once again?  Oy!

It’s obvious Serena has problems.  And you can partly blame daddy van der Woodsen for that.  The guy’s been absent for years and even turned away his own daughter when she went to see him.  A$$!  But in a shocking twist, Lily found a very interesting letter addressed to Serena from none other than, gulp, Mr. van der Woodsen.  Um, WOW!  Need to know what it says like NOW!!

All the while, Dan, Olivia and Vanessa were coping with some bad news.  Endless Knights 4 was a go.  This meant Olivia would have to leave NYU.  Sad!  Dan and Vanessa decided there was no way they were going to let that happen.  So they turned to the college newspaper.  There was an article about the 15 things college students should do before graduating.  Dan and Vanessa wanted to give Olivia an experience of a lifetime.  And thus they began their quest to do all 15 things on the list.

Eating falafel at Mamoun’s?  Check.  Puking at Bar None?  Check.  Having a keg party in the dorm?  Check.  The list was coming to an end.  There was just one thing left to do.  Ready for it?  Have a threesome.  Yep, you read right.  14 out of 15 things seemed like a major accomplishment to me.  But Olivia didn’t want to quit.  She was going to have to take the movie no matter what.  Why not go out with a bang?  So Dan, Olivia and Vanessa had a threesome.  Menage a OMG!!  Too bad for them, Olivia got word that Endless Knights was a no go.  Um, talk about an awkward morning.  And rest of school year…

Seems to me a lot of people got in way over their heads this week.  Oh, how I love when that happens.  Because that means everyone will have to get themselves out of some sticky situations.  And you can be sure I’ll be ready to report the outcomes.  You can count on me.  Xoxo Gossip Girl

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