Hookups galore!  From the unsurprising (B&N – it was only a matter of time) to the effing shocking (V&C – say what?), this week was pretty explosive.  Never in a million years would I have thought Chuck Bass would hook up with Vanessa Abrams.  Like seriously.  The last time Chuck hooked up with a girl from Brooklyn it was probably by accident.  Ah but the C/V hookup wasn’t the only crazy thing that happened.  From Jenny’s sweet sixteen to Dan’s first official fan this was a week to remember.

Jenny Humphrey did not want to make a big deal about her birthday.  She preferred to throw a little game night type party with just a few friends, her brother, Eric and Serena.  Yawn.  However, Serena wasn’t so sure this was a good idea.  I mean, a girl only turns sixteen once.  Didn’t she want something grander?  Something that people would remember?  But Jenny was adamant about it: no big party!  But I guess anything is better than last year’s fiasco.  Jenny cake, anyone?

Serena ran into her old friend Poppy Lifton (you know, socialite Poppy Lifton who was in the fashion show with Serena?).  The Serena/Poppy interaction was way awkward.  It seemed like the two were on totally different pages.  Here was Poppy who had just returned from a trip to Spain with her boyfriend while Serena was the same old Serena with no boyfriend and doing Calc homework on weeknights.  For some reason seeing Poppy sparked a fuse and Serena decided she needed to be on the scene once again.  And as for her first order of business: throwing Jenny Humphrey the greatest sweet sixteen party the UES had ever seen.  Maybe you should talk to Jenny about that first, S…

It looked like Blair was on her way back up after spending some time in the dark abyss that is Carter Baizen and insulting UESers.  With the help of her BFF, Serena, Blair seemed to be close to being back to normal.  And with her normalness back intact she was after something new: Nate Archibald.  After spending time together, Blair decided to make Nate hers once again like when they were little.  I mean, the two were kinda perfect for each other plus they had history.  Unfortunately, Nate was not really biting.  Rather, he was still dealing with Vanessa.  Nate and Vanessa’s fight at his family’s party was the tipping point to the end of their relationship.  Nate broke it off with the homeschooler from Brooklyn.  Vanessa wanted to make sure that there wasn’t another person who influenced his decision.  He promised her there wasn’t.  This was about him and her.   No one else.  You sure about that, Nate?

Vanessa was trying to get over her breakup.  However it was kind of hard to do so when  it seemed like her ex-boyfriend flat out lied to her.  Even though Nate had assured Vanessa there was no else he was acting awfully close to Blair.  Vanessa was livid.  It was obvious: Nate dumped her for Blair!   She was so mad that she turned to the most random and unexpected person: Chuck Bass.  Vanessa could not let Nate and Blair make a fool of her.  Chuck agreed.  Let the scheming begin.

Meanwhile, Dan Humphrey was reveling.  It seemed like the kid from Brooklyn was on top of the world.  Not only did he receive his Yale admissions packet that ensured this college thing was real but he also got a fan letter in the mail.  I guess someone had actually read his story in The New Yorker (he must have been the one) and was inspired.  The fan even called Dan’s story “haunting.”  God, losers attract losers.  Well, anyway Dan was living it up.  Sadly, Rufus could not share in the excitement with his son.  Turned out the family received absolutely no financial aid from Yale.  This meant Rufus was gonna have to fork over all the money by himself.  Too bad Lincoln Hawk hadn’t had a hit since the early 90’s nor were people interested in buying art in Brooklyn.  Rufus decided to take a huge step.  He called a real estate agent to discuss selling the loft.  Whaaat?  The Humphreys are nothing without their Dumbo loft!  Where will the pancakes be made?  Oh.  At the van der Woodsen apartment on the Upper East Side.  Humphreys + van der Woodsens (and Chuck!) = one big happy family?  I’m not so sure about that.  Besides, the Humphreys living on the UES?  What has the world come to????

Jenny was very excited for her lame, I mean low key, birthday party.  She and Dan brought all their favorite games to the van der Woodsens: Scattergories, Taboo, Scene It, etc.  But Jenny was in for a shock when she arrived.  Her little party was not so little.  Instead it was full of unfamiliar HSers who were drinking, dancing and doing god knows what else.  Jenny’s dream bday of fun and games quickly went from Apples to Apples to bananas.

Jenny was so mad.  This was not the party she wanted.  What the hell, Serena?  Serena told her this was the kind of party a newly turned sixteen year old should have.  But Jenny didn’t care.  She decided to take matters into her own hands and turned the tables on S.  Jenny alerted me about this party and I sent out a blast about it.  And that’s when the party took a turn for the worse…

Chuck had not been very useful in helping Vanessa thus far.  He had sick and twisted ideas for getting back at Nate and Blair.  Maybe Vanessa was wrong for going to Chuck.  But when the two arrived at Jenny’s party they were greeted with an unnerving image: Nate and Blair smiling and laughing together.  Ugh.  So what’d they do?  Chuck and Vanessa made out in front of them.  Like hardcore!  Whaaaat?

Nate found Vanessa and confronted her about what he had just witnessed.  What the hell was she doing with Chuck?  Vanessa didn’t want to hear any of it.  Nate was such a hypocrite.  He was lecturing her about getting with someone extremely fast after breaking up when he was always around Blair.  Blair came over to them and confirmed Nate’s innocence.  She and Nate weren’t back together.  At least not yet.  According to Blair, their new friendship was probably going to lead to more but hadn’t quite gotten to the next stage.  Though Nate seemed a bit unsure that it would ever get to that.  To him, he and Blair were just hanging out.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Blair was confused.  She took him aside to talk.  Or rather she took him into a room and jumped him.  Yeah.  But Nate was so not into it.  Seemed like this friendship was always going to be just that.  Blair was beyond pissed and embarrassed.  UGH!

From drunk kids puking to drunk kids having sex in Serena’s bed, Jenny/Serena’s party was way out of control.  Vanya, the van der Woodsen doorman, had to keep the hordes of people off.  It was so bad the cops came.  And when Lily and Rufus got home they were not pleased.  The apartment was a disgusting mess!  Lily yelled at Serena for letting the party get out of control.  But Serena pleaded with her.  She didn’t invite all those people.  Serena was just trying to be nice.  Jenny admitted she actually alerted me but only because Serena had turned her small get together into a rager.  Serena was furious.  She couldn’t believe her mom would just assume the worst from her.  Seemed like things never changed!

Serena just couldn’t deal with her mom yelling at her like that.  She was almost eighteen years old and still had to deal with her mom and house rules and other dorky high school stuff.  Serena had enough.  She wanted to live like Poppy: free.  So she decided to do just that and jaunt off to Spain with Poppy and Poppy’s boyfriend, Gabriel.  When Serena met Gabriel he told her he had actually already met her.  When she was being her Southern alter ego Savannah (ah remember Serena &Georgina’s crazy night out last year??).  A little weird but whatever.  Anyway, S was off to Spain.  Sort of as a third wheel.  I don’t want to spread rumors or anything but it kinda seemed like there might be some sort of heat between Serena and Gabriel.  I won’t really speculate, but I’m just saying.  Agree?  Disagree?

Blair was ashamed.  She had thrown herself at Nate and he totally rejected her.  Talk about desperate.  But just when Blair thought her life might be shattered again, her luck changed.  Nate met her in Central Park (thanks, Dorota!) and told her he actually did want to be with her.  And then he kissed her.  And it wasn’t just some little kiss it was like way hot and way romantic.  I think this seals the deal: Blair and Nate are totally, 100% back on.

Rufus and Lily realized they probably shouldn’t move in together quite yet.  They still needed some time.  This meant Rufus wasn’t selling the loft which also meant Dan wasn’t gonna have money for Yale.  Rufus told Dan about this and he was stunned.  Rufus said he’d work it out.  He always has.  Aw for an older rocker, Rufus is actually a pretty good dad.

On a higher note for Dan, he finally read his fan’s letter and called him.  He was excited to finally speak with someone who was on his level.  Someone he could relate to.  When Dan called, omg guess who picked up the phone???  Lily and Rufus’ lovechild’s parents.  OMG!  This meant Dan’s fan was ahhh his half brother!  WTF?  How crazy is that? When Scott’s parents answered the phone, Dan told them his name.  They put two and two together and there was no way they were going to let their son speak with him.  They quickly deleted the call and it was as if it had never even happened.  So crazy!

But that whole thing is nowhere near as crazy as what happened between Chuck and Vanessa.  They ended up spending the night together.  Can you freaking believe that?  Chuck and Vanessa?  They were only supposed to be using each other to made Nate and Blair mad!  I guess they used each other a little too much…

S living it up in a foreign country, B&N back together, C having sex with a random girl, ahh it’s like the old days.  Unfortunately, C’s random girl is Vanessa.  Blech.  Cannot believe that happened.  What is B gonna think?  What is D gonna think?  What is everyone gonna think?  Well, this makes things very interesting.  And you know I can’t get enough of it.  I don’t wanna miss a thing. Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 114 Comments »

So I guess Jenny is doing something for her Bday…I just got an anonymous email from someone who received an invite.  It’s no wonder no one knew what was going on.  Only like three people were even invited!  I know I know this party seems so lame who even cares?  But just in case you were wondering, here are the details.  I hear Penelope’s having a party that night too.  Now that should actually be fun and will definitely not include board games.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 27 Comments »

Spotted: S practically holding B’s hand as they crossed Madison.  B was overheard saying she didn’t need help.  Looks like S is still concerned about her BFF (she is such a good friend!)  D at the Brooklyn post office geeking out over his Yale acceptance packet.  Seriously, kid.  You got in.  Get over it.  J eating dinner with her dad and, get this, S and E’s mom at Philippe.  Okay, J.  It was one thing to crash Jeric’s dates but your dad’s?  L to the ame.  N at lacrosse practice.  They were playing shirts vs. skins.  Sadly, N was on skins (UGH!!).  C at the Knicks vs. Clippers game alone.  He looked angry/confused/upset.  I’m sure it didn’t help that the Knicks lost…

xo xo Gossip Girl | 42 Comments »

Guess whose birthday is just around the corner?  Jenny Humphrey.  She’s turning sweet sixteen.  Seems like it was only yesterday our girl was acting as a handmaiden to Blair Waldorf, being a beard for a certain Unity lacrosse player, staging a guerilla fashion show, dropping out of school and running away from home.  Ah, how time flies.  No word on what the celebration will be.  I don’t think anything can top last year’s party.  Remember Jenny cake (omg so embarrassing!) as well as Jenny being caught wearing Hazel’s mom stolen dress?  Oh the memories!  I’ll keep you posted on what the plan is for this year.  Happy Birthday, J.  Another year older, another year wiser.  Maybe…

xo xo Gossip Girl | 44 Comments »

Shut the eff up.  B&N?  I did not see that coming.  Not even a little bit.  Never in a million years. OMG!…Okay, okay before I get into that crazy thing that happened between our former “it” couple of the UES I should rewind to how it all began.

Blair was downward spiraling.  Her life was in shambles.  One day it was Yale and a future so bright it was blinding.  The next day it was no Yale and a future so bleak it was utterly depressing.  The girl was seriously depressed.  And the only thing, okay fine, person who seemed to be able to cheer her up was Carter Baizen.  Yeah, that guy.  Even Chuck couldn’t help her.  She wanted nothing to do with him.  All Blair wanted was to wallow in her self pity and be a bad girl.  Chuck decided the only way to get Blair back to normal was to get rid of Baizen.  He enlisted Serena’s help and the two bought Carter a one way ticket to the United Arab Emirates.  At first, Carter wasn’t going to go but Serena threatened him with revealing what went down in Santorini (um, what the h did happen in Santorini?? MUST KNOW!)  Anyway, Carter gave in and he was gone.  Dubai bye, Carter.

It looked like Blair was returning to her old self when she visited the Sarah Lawrence Dean.  She pleaded with him to let her in.  But he denied her.  Looked like Blair was definitely not going to college.  And now the only place for her to go was down.  Ruh roh.

All the while, Nate was reconnecting with his mother’s side of the family, the famous van der Bilts.  Total NYC royalty.  Though, Nate and the van der Bilts weren’t on the best terms after the whole Captain debacle.  They weren’t the most supportive during that time and Nate was still bitter.  But it seemed like the van der Bilts were trying to make amends.  Nate’s cousin Trip invited him, Vanessa and Dan to the family’s compound.  He ensured Nate it was their grandfather’s insistence that they come.  However, when Nate arrived he soon found out his grandfather had no idea he was going to be there.  Ack!  But nevertheless, Nate’s grandfather was thrilled to see him!  Yay!

Grandfather van der Bilt was so excited to have Nate back in his life.  He saw potential in Nate.  Sadly, Vanessa had a hard time feeling it all.  She wasn’t used to these kinds of people.  And when she saw Nate with his family she felt like this might be what the future looked like.  A far cry from Veselka’s pierogies and Hal Ashby retrospectives.  But maybe Vanessa could get used to this part of Nate’s life.  Just as long as other things weren’t compromised.  Like for example, the two had a romantic summer in Europe planned.  They were really looking forward to traveling all over from Warsaw to Berlin to Prague.  Maybe they could get the best of both worlds?

The van der Bilts threw a party and everyone who’s anyone of NYC society was there.  And this my friends, is where/when Blair decided to truly go off the wagon.  She was a girl with nothing to lose.  Blair decided to insult anyone who came into her path.  From cheating husbands to wives with bad face lifts, Blair let everyone have it.  Serena and Chuck tried to silence her but she was out of control.  Chuck even took Blair to a room to get her under to chill out.  Instead, Blair was acting crazy.  She propositioned Chuck (and it was way hot!).  But Chuck wouldn’t give in.  This wasn’t the Blair he wanted.  Blair told him too bad because that Blair was dead and buried.  There was a new Blair and she was unstoppable.

Vanessa was feeling way out of place at the party.  And things only got worse when Nate was approached with a pretty good offer.  Grandfather told Nate he got him an internship in the Mayor’s office.  It was something all van der Bilts had done.  It was a wonderful opportunity and Nate would be foolish not to do it.  But what about their summer in Europe??  Nate told her this was an amazing chance at something.  Vanessa was upset.  The reason she liked Nate was because he wasn’t like all the guys on the UES.  He was different.  But interning for the Mayor sounded like something someone with III at the end of their name would do.  Nate said he hadn’t made up his mind yet but it seemed like Vanessa already had.  She was pissed.

Meanwhile, Blair was at her lowest.  What the hell happened to her?  Everything finally hit her and she was devastated.  Nate found her in a room at the mansion crying.  He comforted her.  Just like old times.  They talked about the past.  And it felt…omg…right?  Nate reminisced about how when they were kids she’d always make him watch the same movies over and over again.  Blair told him it was because she liked knowing the way things ended.  Nate reminded her she was Blair Waldorf.  Someone who doesn’t let a mishap get in the way of what she wanted.

When Nate came out of the room with Blair, Grandfather announced Nate’s internship.  And he happily accepted!  Vanessa was shocked.  WTF?  Guess her and Nate’s summer of love together was going to be a summer of sadness alone.  Turned out, Nate wasn’t who she thought he was.   Could Nate and Vanessa possibly be, gasp, over?  Or was this jut a little fight and they’d soon make up?  I don’t know.  But I do know this little hipster ran all the way home.  To Brooklyn.

Fun fact from party: So when Blair was downward spiraling like Britney via 2007 (thankfully there was no shaving of a head), she told Serena about Dan and Ms. Carr in the costume closet.  Yeah, you know the whole doing it before The Age of Innocence.  Well, Serena didn’t like hearing that.  I mean, sure they were broken up and all but like seriously.  A teacher?  In a place so close to where Serena was?  Totally gross.  So Serena let Dan have it.  She slapped him.  It was awesome.  And way deserved!

Back to the drama.  Chuck needed to see Blair.  He had to tell her something (omg! Could it be that something???).  Unfortunately when he arrived at the Waldorf’s, Dorota told him Blair was not receiving visitors.  Chuck had to leave.  Saddened, he was about to go when he noticed a jacket lying on the floor.  Chuck picked it up and OMFG it had the van der Bilt seal on it.  It was Nate’s jacket!  Nate was upstairs with Blair at that very moment.  WTF??  DYING!!

Okay.  So Natessa is dunzo (or was it Vate? Did we even come up with something?  Whatever.  Guess it doesn’t really matter now…).  But what does matter is that Blate is back? (okay this is really important, what should we call them?  Is Blate still good?  Or should we come up with a better nickname?).  Wow.  Poor Chuck.  But really he did it to himself.  Man up!  If you had only told Blair how you really felt like eons ago then maybe this would have ended differently.  Oh well, your loss, C.  Hmm…Blair and Nate.  Nate and Blair.  Let’s hope if they decide to officially date again it goes better than the last time.  I’m actually going to be rooting for them.  It’s good to have the king and queen back together.   Your moves, your highnesses.  Xoxo Gossip Girl.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 131 Comments »