Seemed like all our favorite Upper East Siders woke up in pretty odd places this week. First Lily woke up next to, um, Rufus! On her wedding day to, um, Bart! And then Blair was awoken in the arms of Chuck in her bed! He said they had fallen asleep while trying to scheme against Georgina and when the floor got too uncomfortable he got on the bed (sneaky dog!). And last but certainly not least, Georgina woke up…in the Humphrey loft. WTF! The only person who didn’t awaken to find themselves in a compromising position was Serena. But that’s probably because she didn’t even go to sleep. Serena called Dan all night but was left with his voicemail each time. She finally decided to go over to Brooklyn to talk to him face to face (and to see if he was alone or with you know who). Unfortunately, when Serena got there she was faced with the daunting truth. Standing in the flesh in the Humphrey living room was Georgina (in last night’s clothes!). She played innocent as Serena started yelling at her. This was exactly what Georgina had planned all along. Dan was still confused. As Georgina made her way to the door, Serena called her a manipulative, psycho bitch (which is putting it nicely. I would have said much, much worse). When Georgina was finally out of the loft, Serena started telling Dan everything.

Dan took it pretty well. I mean that was sort of a lot of information to take in. Being able to admit, “Hey, I thought I killed a guy, and I’m being blackmailed by a crazy girl pretending to be someone else” isn’t really all that easy. Serena wanted to put everything behind them. They could fix the damage. And Serena was determined not to even think about why Georgina was sleeping at Dan’s. She was probably just hanging with Dan and Vanessa and it got late and they fell asleep. Right?

Dan Humphrey definitely had been spending too much time around Blair Waldorf because omg he decided to get revenge on Georgina. He enlisted Blair’s help. Regrettably, Chuck was busy with his Best Man speech so he left Blair to do the dirty work. But alas, Blair Waldorf is the queen of vengeance (beware!). And of course, Blair knew exactly what to do. She had Dan call Georgina. When he got her voicemail, Dan left Georgina a message saying that after she left he and Serena got into a huge fight and he just really wanted to see her. Blair was impressed. Humphrey was actually kind of good. And sure enough, Georgina called right back. Dan told her the night before really changed things for him. Could they meet later? Georgina was ecstatic. Of course, they could meet. It seemed that for Georgina, she was winning the battle. Too bad for her, Blair Waldorf was now involved which meant the war had only just begun.

Dan and Georgina met at their spot in the Park. Everything was going swimmingly well. Until, Dan dropped the bomb: Serena had told him everything and he believed her. Georgina was taken aback. Serena was a liar! Georgina could not believe this. Was Dan just going to go back to Serena and leave her all alone? And that’s when Blair stepped in…with Georgina’s extremely unhappy parents. See, Georgina, you’re not totally alone. Her parents were livid. She had ditched rehab and sold her show pony for drugs. There was only place for Georgina to go: reform school. Didn’t you hear, Georgina? The Upper East Side only has room for one crazy bitch and that title belongs to Blair Waldorf. Goodbye, Georgina!

Meanwhile, today was Lily’s wedding day! On what should have been the best day of her life, things weren’t going as planned. I mean, waking up next to the former love of your life who you’re not getting married to is kind of awkward. To make matters worse, while with Rufus Lily received a call from Bart asking to meet her somewhere. When Lily got to the address, it was a building she didn’t know. Bart was waiting for her inside. He told her that this was the first place he had ever bought. Bart liked to come back to the building to remind himself of how he felt the first time he saw it. Though, now he’s gotten older and doesn’t really have a purpose for the building anymore. Bart asked Lily what she thought he should do with it. Lily was speechless. She knew exactly what this all meant. She told Bart should get rid of it. And that’s when Lily knew exactly what she needed to do with Rufus too.

Rufus was seriously having the best 24 hours ever. His gig the night before was so successful that he was approached to go on a summer tour with The Breeders (I iTunesed their music and totally have heard their songs. Go Rufus!). Oh, and also he just had sex with Lily van der Woodsen. Sadly, Dan reminded his dad that Lily was getting married that day to Bart. He also told his dad that Serena had something to him earlier in the day. She said that the reason Lily didn’t run off with Rufus was because Serena asked her not to. Rufus smiled and finally got it.

The wedding of the century was still taking place. Everyone showed up at the Cooper Hewitt in their finest spring getups. Some of the more surprising guests: Vanessa (as Nate’s guest!), the Captain (fresh out of rehab) and OMFG, Rufus (the ultimate wedding crasher)! Rufus busted into the bridal chamber to see Lily. He said he could call off the wedding. The two of them could make it work. Lily wasn’t as sure. She loved Bart. Rufus reminded her of what they had twenty years earlier and Lily couldn’t help but reminisce. And when we all thought Lily was going to ditch Bart at the altar, these former lovebirds made a surprising decision. Lily and Rufus decided to part ways for good. They told each other they loved one another and Rufus kissed Lily goodbye. Then, he left her ready to walk down the aisle to marry Bart once and for all.

All the while, Chuck and Nate were still at odds. No matter what Chuck tried to do to reconcile with his old friend, nothing seemed to work. Luckily for Nate, Chuck still had his back. When Chuck saw the Captain doing suspicious stuff, he investigated further. Chuck caught the Captain exchanging money for something outside the wedding. It looked like drugs. Was the Captain using again? When Chuck received word that the Captain was leaving the wedding, he went straight to Nate to tell him what he saw earlier. But Nate didn’t believe him. His dad was clean. Chuck told him that he knew Nate hated him. He was in love with Blair, and he was sorry. But right now there wasn’t time to argue about this. And sure enough, when Nate went outside, he saw his dad getting a limo. Nate banged on the windows and demanded his dad to come out. The Captain emerged from the limo and told Nate he was skipping town. He had left him a note at home. Nate assured him they would get him help if he was still doing drugs but the Captain told him he actually was sober. He needed to leave the country because he was guilty and facing 25 years in jail. Nate’s mom was paying for the plane to get him out of the US. The Captain told Nate he needed him to step up and be a man but Nate didn’t want to hear any of it. He was done with his father. When the Captain went to put his hand on his shoulder, Nate lost it and punched him! In the face! Way crazy. As the Captain drove off to hop a plane and Roman Polanski it up, Nate approached Chuck and thanked him. Seemed like these former feuding friends were pals once again.

When it was time for the Best Man speech everyone was a bit nervous. It was Chuck’s turn to shine (and everyone was way scared to hear what he could say, I mean, it’s Chuck Bass). Surprisingly, the speech was very sincere. This was so unlike Chuck. Chuck began reading from his index cards but soon put them down and started reading from his heart. He said that in the face of true love you don’t give up. And who was he staring at when he said this all: Blair!! OMG! Blair was truly touched. When the two met up on the dance floor, Chuck apologized to her for all the stuff that happened between them. Chuck told her she didn’t belong with Nate and she told him he didn’t belong with anyone and then they kissed. And kept kissing. So hot!

While some people were getting together, others were breaking apart. Even though Serena and Dan had tried to patch things up earlier in the day both were still having problems with it. Serena really didn’t want to break up with Dan but Dan wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay with Serena. Turned out, while Dan and Whore-gina didn’t have sex, Dan admitted: “they might as well have.” Serena was heartbroken but Dan was even more upset. Serena lied to him. She practically let him get seduced by a girl she knew to be a fake and crazy. Dan was the most understanding boyfriend ever, Serena could have told him the truth. Guess they were back to where they were at Bart Bass’ brunch; Serena wasn’t who Dan thought she was and he couldn’t forgive her. They told each other to have a good summer and they’d seen one another at school in the fall. Looked like it was over for our favorite couple. Wah.

One week later, everyone was beginning their summers. Rufus was on tour with The Breeders (seriously, download them, I’m totally digging it) while Jenny received a letter informing her whether or not she got a summer fashion internship. She ripped open the letter and luckily got a gig at none other than, wait for it, Eleanor Waldorf Designs. Yep, a whole summer working for Blair’s mom - awesome, really awesome.

Jenny wasn’t the only person hanging around New York City for the summer. Dan and Vanessa were also going to be there. And both were going to deal with being single. Thankfully they had each other. Vanessa and Nate didn’t work out in the end (so sad…um jk!). This meant Vanessa could be by Dan’s newly single side. Aw, sweet. It seemed like these two were going to spend the summer being the best of friends just like they used to be.

Nate was getting out of the city for the summer. He was heading to the Hamptons. Serena was going there too. She was planning on spending the break being a good girl. Days on the beach reading Nicholas Sparks novels and nights locked up avoiding the opposite sex. Serena was going to reflect this summer. Nate said he was going to do the same. Maybe they could reflect together?

Blair was going to France for the summer to be with her father and Roman. But first she was going on a weeklong trip to Tuscany. With Chuck! The two were flying on Bart’s private jet there. So romantic. Blair said Chuck brought out the worst in her and surprisingly she brought out the best in him.

While Chuck packed, Bart came into his room. He told Chuck he was very proud of him. Bart was happy that he was deciding to be with Blair and only Blair. It would be good for him. It was a grown up decision and he would learn from it; come back this summer a new man. And that’s when Chuck freaked out. What’s Chuck Bass without an abundance of booze, money and most importantly, girls?

Blair showed up to the heliport to take the helicopter to Teterborough to begin their week of romance, but Chuck wasn’t there just yet. Luckily, Blair wasn’t alone. A guy named Ben approached her. He worked for Bart and was going to Italy for a business meeting so he too would be on the private jet. Blair received a text from Chuck saying he would meet her in Italy. She should go on without him. Blair shrugged. What’s ten hours? Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Throwing the nice words his father just gave him into the garbage along with the roses he bought for Blair, Chuck went back to his old ways immediately. He met Amelia, the Bass’ new interior designer and immediately took a liking to her (she was cute and blonde, what’s not to like?). Seemed like Chuck Bass, like a leopard, can’t change his spots. Chuck Bass was Chuck Bass and even Blair Waldorf couldn’t change that.

Will Chuck Bass ever show in Italy? Will Blair forgive him for standing her up? Will Serena stay true to her vow of chastity? Will Nate make peace with his family? Will Vanessa get sick of the sound of Dan’s voice? Will Jenny once again obey the strict demands of a Waldorf? Ah, so many questions we need the answers to. Luckily for all of you, Gossip Girl doesn’t go on a summer break. Though, I too along with our UES favorites, will be vacationing in the Hamptons as well as sunning in a private villa on the beaches of Capri. But just because the summer begins doesn’t mean the gossip stops. In fact, I find the heat always makes people do scandalous things. Fortunately, I’ll keep bringing you the latest and the greatest (with lots of thanks to my wonderful informants around the world). We’ll have our ears open and our eyes peeled to catch our sinners in the act and you can be assured when we find them I will write about it. That’s just how I am. Grab your shades and your sunblock. I hear this summer’s going to be a scorcher. You know you love me.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 322 Comments »

OMG!  The wedding is only days away.  If you haven’t already checked out Lily’s wedding site you should.  There are new videos on it where you can get a sneak peak at the wedding of the season.  Also, Lily keeps updating her blog (don’t be too hard on her, at least she’s trying lol.  But really there’s only room for one queen of blogging on the UES and that’s moi).  And if you haven’t signed the guestbook do it!  I’m sure Lily would greatly appreciate it.

http://lilyandbart.weddingwindow.com

xo xo Gossip Girl | 62 Comments »

Summer is fast approaching.  Luckily for us, there’s just one big event left before we can slip into our bikinis, lather on the SPF and atone for our sins from this past year.  Lily and Bart’s wedding will surely be the event of the year (if not the century).  Can’t wait to see who shows up.  We’re sure things won’t go off without a hitch.  I mean, hello this is the Upper East Side after all.  When does anything go smoothly?

http://lilyandbart.weddingwindow.com

xo xo Gossip Girl | 29 Comments »

Whoa. That’s all I can say. Let’s take a moment to stop and reflect…

Okay. Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. I really don’t. Hmm…well, when I said I loved old Serena and wanted to see her back I wasn’t expecting that. Now, I love a party girl as much as the next but when Serena parties she takes it to a whole new level. She makes Amy Winehouse look like Emma Roberts. The night before was pretty chilly with Serena coming to Blair’s house and admitting those words: “I killed someone”. But it turns out, when Blair went upstairs to get one of her mother’s valiums to help calm Serena down, Serena vanished. Blair tried desperately to find her but she wasn’t answering her phone and it seemed every time Blair called one of Serena’s old stomping grounds she had just missed her.

Blair wasn’t the only one worried for Serena. Dan had been searching for her all morning. He was intent on making up with her after their tiff the night before. Dan even turned to Chuck for help (hell officially had frozen over). Dan went to the Palace to see if maybe Chuck had any idea where Serena could be. Of course, Chuck was little help. When Chuck received a call in front of Dan and told the person on the other end that Serena hadn’t come home all night, Dan became even more suspicious. While pacing outside the Palace, Dan bumped into “Sarah” or rather, Georgina, no wait she’s “Sarah” to Dan. It’s hard to keep track if she’s being crazy or crazier. “Sarah” played coy and said she had a friend from Portland staying at the Palace. But we all knew she was waiting as well for Serena. Serena and Georgina needed to hang out because that’s what friends do and they’re friends. When Dan’s phone finally rang it was Serena’s name on the caller ID. Finally! But when he answered it, Dan was taken aback. Instead of it being Serena it was some dude, a bartender actually. He said he found Serena’s phone and Dan’s number was the 1^st one on speed dial. Her phone had been ringing off the hook. Dan asked where Serena was and the guy said “no clue. But she did leave with three guys around 2am.” Slut! Dan was heartbroken.

Upstairs at The Palace, Lily was in the midst of wedding mayhem. Not only was her wedding only hours away but she also had to do an interview for Rolling Stone. And what were the questions mostly about? Oh, her little romance with Lincoln Hawk front man, Rufus Humphrey. Lily felt uncomfortable about the interrogation. She only wanted to speak about her photographs not her love life. This was Rolling Stone not Us Weekly. Luckily Dan saved her by interrupting. He asked Lily if she had seen Serena. Lily told him Charles had just left to go get her at Blair’s. Damn it, “Charles” lol!

Blair called in her troops, or rather Chuck and Nate, to help her. She had found Serena and the outlook was pretty gloomy. Serena was a mess, but luckily her old friends knew how to deal with her. The fab four definitely seemed to have a routine down with handling a wasted Serena. They looked to actually be doing a good job, until Dan crashed the sobering up party. At first Dan was turned away. Blair, Nate and Chuck all told him the same thing: Serena didn’t want to see him. Dan was beyond confused. Who the hell were the three dysfunctional Musketeers to block him from his girlfriend? Serena came downstairs and confronted Dan. He begged her to be honest with him. I mean, hello he was the best boyfriend ever. He’d understand anything. But Serena wasn’t budging. Instead she admitted that she slept with someone else the night before. And when Dan’s heart couldn’t be torn apart even more it was. He was done with it all and walked out right there. And that’s when, Serena finally broke down.

Serena’s friends quickly came to her aid. Though they also wanted to know what was going on in Serena’s head. Did she really cheat on Dan? Serena said she didn’t. They were all confused. If Serena didn’t cheat on Dan why couldn’t she just tell him the truth? Serena said what she had done was so awful that Dan could never, ever find out. The friends urged her to shoot. Serena could tell them anything. Come on, they’d seen Serena with puke in her hair, making out with random people in bar bathrooms, plus they’d done pretty horrible acts themselves. They were like the non-judging Breakfast Club. And finally, Serena told them the truth.

So remember that night last year when Serena and Nate did it on the bar? I mean, how could we forget? Well, apparently the even juicier stuff happened afterwards. Serena felt so bad for sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend (as she should!) that she fled the Campbell Apartment right after it happened. She went to a hotel where Georgina was. When she got there Georgina was with their dealer, Pete, ready to party, but Serena was no fun. She was so sickened by what she had just done. Unbeknownst to Serena, Georgina had set up a video camera in hopes of making a “genuine Serena van der Woodsen sex tape.” Pete tried to make the moves on Serena but she wasn’t feeling it. Instead, she suggested they do a line. Pete took the first bump. Unfortunately, that would be his last bump. All of a sudden, he started convulsing. Serena was shocked. She called for Georgina and the two panicked. When Serena went to grab the hotel phone to call 911, Georgina said not to. There were drugs and alcohol everywhere and they were underage. Serena couldn’t just let Pete seize like that so she grabbed his cell and called for help. The girls ran out of the hotel and decided it’d be best if they split up. Being the actual good person she is, Serena stuck around to see if Pete was okay. As she waited outside the hotel, there were tons of paramedics everywhere. And then she saw the worst thing ever: a body bag getting wheeled out on a stretcher. Omfg! Pete was dead. And soon enough, Serena was on the next train to Connecticut for boarding school.

Blair, Nate and Chuck were stunned by Serena’s confession. Serena pleaded with them not to tell a soul. They agreed they wouldn’t. Unfortunately, Dorota, Blair’s housekeeper, wasn’t as clueless as we all thought. After seeing the kids taking care of a hazy Serena, she called Lily to tell her that her daughter was on drugs. She seemed like her old self. Furious, Lily went on a rampage in Serena’s room determined to find out if her daughter was back to her old habits. Instead of finding drugs, Lily found something almost as worse (or just as worse, I’m not sure): the tape Georgina made of Serena that night. Lily put it in and watched the part where Serena and Pete began to make out. She quickly closed the computer, unable to stomach the rest. Lily was furious. How did her daughter turn into Kim Kardashian?

When Serena finally cleaned herself up and came to the rehearsal dinner, Lily gave it to her. She could not believe Serena had reverted back to “old Serena.” Lily was fed up. What else could she do? Serena had to go to reformatory school. Serena didn’t even put up a fight and accepted her mother’s punishment. Um, WTF? But Blair wasn’t going to let the soon to be Mrs. Bass send Serena away that fast. She confronted Lily and told her that Serena was hurting. Lily needed to intervene and help her daughter since she didn’t even know the half of it. Blair told Lily what really happened and Lily was once again stunned. Geez, this was a lot to take in. Especially at her rehearsal dinner! Lily grabbed Serena and told her they were going somewhere. With the help of Chuck, Lily had the address of Pete’s family and was taking Serena there so she could tell them what really happened that night.

Meanwhile at the concert, Dan was hanging out with “Sarah”. She had called him at the exact right time: just after he left Blair’s. “Sarah” finagled her way into getting invited to be Dan’s date to the show. And boy, was she loving Dan’s attention. Though, she had a near discovery when some random girl started calling her name. No, not “Sarah” but GEORGINA! She played it cool and pretended the girl had the wrong person. Dan was sort of confused. Huh?

Vanessa was also at the show because she was Rufus’ roadie. Luckily the night wasn’t going to be all work. She had a date too. Um, working and going on a date at the same time? Not all that professional, but when your date is Nate Archibald who the f cares? Nate was supposed to come to the show and hang out with her while she played with lights and thingys. So cute. He was running a little late and called to tell her so. What a gentleman. Vanessa mentioned “Sarah” was at the concert as well and suddenly it clicked for Nate. He told her that “Sarah” wasn’t her real name. She was actually named Georgina and Serena had just told them all a pretty crazy story about her. Nate said to keep her at the concert; he’d be there soon. Vanessa was skeptical. This all just sounded way too weird. These Upper East Side kids were kind of crazy.

After Serena talked to the family all she wanted to do was to go to Dan and tell him everything. Lily agreed and took her to the concert. Yep, the one that Lincoln Hawk was performing at. And yep, Rufus was going to be there, obviously! Nate was on his way to the concert (which was FYI, in Queens, gross) as well when he called Blair to tell her Georgina was there too. Blair was elated to find out Georgina’s location. And who did she share this information with? Why, her partner in crime, Chuck Bass, of course. Good to see that even though these two don’t really like each other they still like to scheme. Blair and Chuck agreed it was time for the bitch to get what was coming to her. Watch out, Georgina.

Being the yenta she is, Vanessa had to investigate Nate’s claims about “Sarah.” While Dan was backstage, Vanessa confronted “Sarah”. She asked her if there was anything she needed to tell her. “Sarah” said no and then Vanessa busted out with, “really? Georgina?” “Sarah”’s face went white. Vanessa then told her that Nate had just called her and said that Serena recounted a pretty crazy story about her. Georgina was shocked and ran away (what a wimp!) Dan came back over to Vanessa and she told him what just happened. Now Dan was beyond bewildered. What the hell was going on?

Soon after, Dan found a crying Georgina in a corner (while Lisa Loeb was performing, no less). She told him a sob story about how she had some jealous boyfriend who was obsessed with her, blah, blah, blah, bitch is crazy. And Dan fell for it. He’s just too good. Ugh. Georgina confessed to him that she was falling for him. Dan was taken aback and then he did something that was so unlike Dan Humphrey. He said they should get out of there and with that she took his hand and they were off.

About 2.5 seconds later, Serena showed up looking for Dan. Blair, Chuck and Nate arrived too. Vanessa told them that Georgina had left but Dan was still around somewhere. Serena was so relieved and she and Blair went off to find him. Then, Nate and Vanessa walked off to have a real date (aw, cute) leaving Chuck to enjoy the early ‘90s rock all by himself.

Rufus took the stage and started performing one of his two hit wonders, “Everytime.” Um, do I have to get my eyes checked or is Rufus kind of really hot? Well, anyways as he performed guess who walked in and stood to the side watching? Lily! She didn’t throw her bra on the stage like the old times or put up a lighter, but she did watch him sing. Their eyes met and Rufus was transfixed on her. Lily walked out right as the song was ending and as soon as Rufus played his last chord he went chasing after her. Lily began walking to the car but Rufus blocked her. She told him to get out of her way but Rufus wouldn’t budge. So Lily did the unbelievable and kissed him! Like long and hard! Can someone open a window or something? Because for two old people that was way hot.

Serena searched furiously around the studio for Dan with no luck. When Blair’s phone rang and it said Humphrey was calling, Serena was so excited. She grabbed the phone to talk to her amazing boyfriend and omg, Georgina was on the other end! Serena was shocked. Georgina told her that she heard Serena had told their little secret. If that was the way Serena wanted to play it, then that would be how they’d play it. And it wasn’t about what Georgina was going to do but rather who! Serena said Dan was too good. He would never. Georgina laughed and asked if she was really certain of that. Georgina hung up (and pocketed Dan’s battery, hello crazy) as Dan brought her coffee. The two sat down on a front stoop and began talking and then OMG, Georgina kissed Dan! BITCH! But OMG, he then kissed her back! And the two went off to God knows where.

Um…what is Dan doing?? And why is he falling for Georgina’s crazy act? It makes me so mad. Sure, Georgina generates a ton of gossip and I should love her for that but really. She is starting to really piss me off. Dan might be from Brooklyn and a total loser but he and Serena are actually good together and, well, this just makes me very upset. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Blair and Chuck do something good. It’d be nice to have our resident plotters back in action and ready to make Georgina’s life hell. There’s nothing Gossip Girl loves more than sweet revenge.

xo xo Gossip Girl | 133 Comments »

Spotted: C getting off a helicopter at the downtown heliport. He looked sunned, refreshed and like he got a ton of action at his dad’s bachelor party (what a dog!). N in, ugh, Brooklyn. Was he visiting his dad in rehab? Or was he spending time with V? Who knows? We’re hoping it was the former. GG isn’t much of a N/V fan (and no, I’m not jealous!) After dropping off J at track 18 at Grand Central, D went to the food court downstairs, gross. He was writing in his notebook and seemed way distracted and upset. Why so blue, Lonely Boy? Fight with your girlfriend? MIA: B and S. Where could they be? Hmm, I’m a bit worried. If you see them, let me know ASAP!

xo xo Gossip Girl | 70 Comments »